It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back. It's not really our fault. No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup. Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup. If you want your ex boyfriend back then these 5 simple steps should help you achieve your goal:
1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong.
Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down. You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior.
2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over. All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened. You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past.
Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day. Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.
3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.
4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup. Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others. You will become an object of desire to men. This includes your ex boyfriend.
5.Take it slow. If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you. Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.
Seeing you when you are looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.
These tips may not be easy for you to do at first. You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation. These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back together after a breakup.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Build Trust Into Your Relationship In 7 Ways
Have you ever thought about the many ways to build trust in a relationship? I bet you haven't given it much thought, but it is very important. Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. You might even think that you have to try elaborate ideas, you know, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong! Often times predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship. These are just ideas to get your creative juices flowing on the right path...these 7 ideas are a start.
First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be somewhat predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. If you are always changing and are unpredictable how can anyone really count on you? Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but that's not the kind of predictability I mean. Most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. We need to know we can count on someone...you need to be reliable and dependable. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out, in good times and in bad.
Secondly, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner may not hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice though. Your partner needs to be able to trust what you are saying. The words must match the message when you want to build trust in a relationship. Pay special attention here ladies...don't say "nothing" when you mean "something".
Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s abilities, skills and talents. If you can't believe in the other person then you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. You can communicate the truth without being critical of the other person. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things, you will feel like you have been violated and then the trust in the relationship is stagnant or (worse yet) not even there. Your partner will feel as though you have no belief in their strengths and so you must work to find the positive influence they can make on the relationship. Don't criticize them or belittle them.
Fourth, don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. It can be assumed that everything you know will eventually come out anyway. Secrets require an enormous amount of energy on your part. It is energy better spent on building the relationship. Be honest for goodness sakes. If you can't be honest with your significant other then who can you be honest with?
Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’t make him or her guess what you need. People are not mind readers, you know. If you think they should be and then get all bent out of shape when they aren't able to read your mind then it's really your fault...not theirs. Let them know how you feel. Let them know what you want and need. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. There is a difference, you know.
Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Being subjugated to the other person’s will without any concern for your own good will actually tears down a relationship. You build up a resentment inside until eventually you burst.
Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationship can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we substantiate who we are just like we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult. Isn't your relationship worth fighting for? Usually anything of any value is.
When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. That's okay. You know what they say...no pain, no gain. As you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your relationship.
First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be somewhat predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. If you are always changing and are unpredictable how can anyone really count on you? Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but that's not the kind of predictability I mean. Most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. We need to know we can count on someone...you need to be reliable and dependable. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out, in good times and in bad.
Secondly, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner may not hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice though. Your partner needs to be able to trust what you are saying. The words must match the message when you want to build trust in a relationship. Pay special attention here ladies...don't say "nothing" when you mean "something".
Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s abilities, skills and talents. If you can't believe in the other person then you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. You can communicate the truth without being critical of the other person. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things, you will feel like you have been violated and then the trust in the relationship is stagnant or (worse yet) not even there. Your partner will feel as though you have no belief in their strengths and so you must work to find the positive influence they can make on the relationship. Don't criticize them or belittle them.
Fourth, don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. It can be assumed that everything you know will eventually come out anyway. Secrets require an enormous amount of energy on your part. It is energy better spent on building the relationship. Be honest for goodness sakes. If you can't be honest with your significant other then who can you be honest with?
Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’t make him or her guess what you need. People are not mind readers, you know. If you think they should be and then get all bent out of shape when they aren't able to read your mind then it's really your fault...not theirs. Let them know how you feel. Let them know what you want and need. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. There is a difference, you know.
Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Being subjugated to the other person’s will without any concern for your own good will actually tears down a relationship. You build up a resentment inside until eventually you burst.
Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationship can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we substantiate who we are just like we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult. Isn't your relationship worth fighting for? Usually anything of any value is.
When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. That's okay. You know what they say...no pain, no gain. As you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your relationship.
Are You In A Toxic Relationship?
How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?
Here are some clues:
If your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others, you might be in a toxic relationship.
If your partner says they love you, but their actions don’t back it up, then you might be in a toxic relationship. (You know, actions do speak louder than words...think about it.)
If your partner is very controlling of everything you do, you might be in a toxic relationship. (i.e. they read your mail, listen in on your phone conversations, call to monitor on your whereabouts throughout the day, etc.)
If they hacked your computer and are reading your email (or just checking your history on your computer to keep you in line) or “showing up” at places where you are just to “check up” on you, take heed.
If your partner tries to make you dependent on them, you might be in a toxic relationship. (i.e. maybe they are making you separate from family and friends that they are not in control of)
If you have changed things about yourself just to please them and not to please yourself then you might be in a toxic relationship.
Toxic people make you feel odd just being around them. It's not so much that they are scaring you, but just making you feel awkward and uneasy...like you have to be on guard and walk on egg shells when you are with them.
So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?
They say love is blind, so maybe you do not recognize these things as they really are. A toxic relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation. Then the cycle begins anew. It's a vicious circle.
When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. You may be in the relationship for quite a time before you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.
At that point, it is difficult to get out. You know consciously that you should get out and that the relationship is not healthy for you, but you are already on the emotional roller coaster that, subconsciously, makes ending the relationship very difficult.
One reason for subjecting yourself to this is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, you replicate the patterns of your childhood without even knowing you’re doing it. You view what is happening to you as perfectly normal.
Another thing is this, you may not know any better. You may have already been reduced to believing that you do not deserve anything different.
Still to, you may find that you enjoy taking care of people and you just see this type of relationship as that vehicle. You recognize the care and attention the other person needs and think to yourself that if you only love them enough they will love you and respect you back. Unfortunately, that isn't so.
So...the first step in getting out and staying out of a toxic relationship is to realize that you do have choices. Very often people who stay in these relationships have low self esteem or suffer from depression and think they have no choices.
Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault. Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.
Don't be one of your own worst enemies. Don't go on a guilt trip that you don't need to go on.
For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.
The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.
Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.
Others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.
The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Sometimes, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.
The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away. If your significant other realizes that you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you. The cycle will continue just the way it is.
Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.
Don’t nag the other person. Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.” Don't be demanding, just make your feelings known. Remember that the other person is not a mind reader, but they do need to be made aware of how you feel or they will continue on their rampage of dominance.
If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.
A healthy relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.
Here are some clues:
If your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others, you might be in a toxic relationship.
If your partner says they love you, but their actions don’t back it up, then you might be in a toxic relationship. (You know, actions do speak louder than words...think about it.)
If your partner is very controlling of everything you do, you might be in a toxic relationship. (i.e. they read your mail, listen in on your phone conversations, call to monitor on your whereabouts throughout the day, etc.)
If they hacked your computer and are reading your email (or just checking your history on your computer to keep you in line) or “showing up” at places where you are just to “check up” on you, take heed.
If your partner tries to make you dependent on them, you might be in a toxic relationship. (i.e. maybe they are making you separate from family and friends that they are not in control of)
If you have changed things about yourself just to please them and not to please yourself then you might be in a toxic relationship.
Toxic people make you feel odd just being around them. It's not so much that they are scaring you, but just making you feel awkward and uneasy...like you have to be on guard and walk on egg shells when you are with them.
So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?
They say love is blind, so maybe you do not recognize these things as they really are. A toxic relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation. Then the cycle begins anew. It's a vicious circle.
When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. You may be in the relationship for quite a time before you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.
At that point, it is difficult to get out. You know consciously that you should get out and that the relationship is not healthy for you, but you are already on the emotional roller coaster that, subconsciously, makes ending the relationship very difficult.
One reason for subjecting yourself to this is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, you replicate the patterns of your childhood without even knowing you’re doing it. You view what is happening to you as perfectly normal.
Another thing is this, you may not know any better. You may have already been reduced to believing that you do not deserve anything different.
Still to, you may find that you enjoy taking care of people and you just see this type of relationship as that vehicle. You recognize the care and attention the other person needs and think to yourself that if you only love them enough they will love you and respect you back. Unfortunately, that isn't so.
So...the first step in getting out and staying out of a toxic relationship is to realize that you do have choices. Very often people who stay in these relationships have low self esteem or suffer from depression and think they have no choices.
Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault. Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.
Don't be one of your own worst enemies. Don't go on a guilt trip that you don't need to go on.
For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.
The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.
Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.
Others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.
The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Sometimes, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.
The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away. If your significant other realizes that you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you. The cycle will continue just the way it is.
Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.
Don’t nag the other person. Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.” Don't be demanding, just make your feelings known. Remember that the other person is not a mind reader, but they do need to be made aware of how you feel or they will continue on their rampage of dominance.
If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.
A healthy relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Learn How To Get Him Back
Are you yearning for days from the past when you two were in love and your relationship set you on top of the world? Are you hoping to rekindle a lost romance? Are you interested in giving a passionate, yet restless relationship another chance? Follow the steps detailed below and you can learn how to get him back.
1) The most useful piece of information that I can give you is to always remember that patience is a virtue. Do not rush anything.
Start things off with simply and small actions whenever you pass your ex. Maybe you should just wave and say hello every so often. You should maintain eye contact so that he knows you are communicating with him and not with somebody else, but do not let it go much further than this. Don't make your eye contact one of those leering, sexually responding types of glares. Remember, less is best.
2) You should make an attempt to talk to him when you can but remember to slowly implement conversation. Remember that you should keep your conversation brief, and rather basic in nature. Do not reveal too much, because mystery is actually quite appealing for many men. Also, if you run into him at a party or a social gathering, if your friends come into the room, you may consider stopping the conversation to return to them. But don't be rude or conniving. This will let him know that while the communication between the two of you is nice, he is not your highest priority right now. Don't be afraid to flirt a little bit here and there as well. But just a little.
3) Keep things fresh. Make sure that you look good and smell good. Appeal to all of his senses. Keep things changed up on a fairly regular basis in order to keep him interested in you. You should put some thought into your appearance because maintaining your good looks will show confidence and respect for yourself. A confident (but not egotistical or arrogant) body is something that most men find quite sexy and attractive.
4) Don't be afraid to throw a few honest compliments out there every so often. You are going to want to make sure that your ex feels good any time he is around you if you really want to get your ex back, so you want to make him feel good about himself. Talk about the good times that you and he spent together, bringing up good memories from the past. Help him remember some of the best highlights from the days of your relationship and enjoy the reminiscing. If he feels good when he is with you then you have already positioned yourself as a person he wants to associate with.
Try to become your ex's friend. First and foremost, this is a must. Then if he wants you back as more than just a friend, he will let you know. Remember what people who have been together for a long time say, you must be friends first, then in later days when things are not as attractive or situations may have changed (and not necessarily for the better) you will still have your friendship to hold you close. Be his friend, open up to him, show him a nice time, and if his feelings for you are rekindled, he will let you know. Take things slowly and don't act too needy. Instead, just play it cool and let him come to you. If things are meant to be, they will be, and you will learn how to get him back through the process.
Consider these ideas...
Did something get misunderstood between you and your boyfriend, causing one or both of you to flee? If you thought that the two of you were well on your way to creating a happy relationship and then somehow fell off the track, don't worry! It is possible to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back with the right steps and a basic understanding of how to go about it.
First, you are going to want to ask yourself some serious questions. The answers to these questions are really important when it comes to figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back.
- Is the matter that caused the breakup actually important enough to warrant the attention it is getting? Sometimes we read a whole lot more into a situation than it actually should receive. I'm sure you have heard of making a mountain out of a molehill. This would apply here. Women especially have a difficult time with this, because, as I have stated in other articles, women converse using all of their senses. Men don't. So a man can say something and mean nothing more than exactly what he says, but a women can conceive those same words and have them result in hurt feelings. Make sure that you are not blowing things out of proportion.
- Is it even really appropriate to argue about this matter right now? Maybe this really doesn't even matter. It's like arguing over spilled milk. Once it's spilled, it's dumb to argue about who spilled it. What's done is done and we have to figure a way to forgive and go on. Clean up the mess together and move forward. No one can move into the future if they are holding on to the past.
- Can anything be changed or made different by rehashing the argument over and over or is it more worthwhile to just nip the argument in the bud and move on? Don't waste the space in your head (or in your life) dwelling on should haves or could haves. Let's just go with what we've got!
- Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place? It might seem like it at first, until you consider the repercussions and then realize it is but a tiny pixel in the photograph of your life.
If you answer no to any of the aforementioned questions after considering all the particulars, then stop pressing the matter and get on with your relationship. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled by considering the reality of the situation. Surprisingly enough, many breakup inducing arguments are really completely unnecessary. Many arguments could be cast aside if only the parties involved would let the tension slide and move on. Look at yourself. Some introspection might prove to show that you are just looking for an argument.
The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop fretting so hard about how you are being perceived. It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. You want to be yourself and let your behavior be natural and show. This way, people like your ex boyfriend, will perceive you for who you actually are, rather than who you are trying to be. You can't possibly hope to build a relationship based on lies and disguises, so don't even try!
Emotionally and mentally distancing yourself from your ex is an important step in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calmed and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, this is when a true resolution can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. Clear your mind and see the things the way they really are. It's important to stay in contact and maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to survive the conversation.
Once your head is clear, and his head is clear, this is when the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate enough to build a solution.
Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through. This should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you care so deeply for.
These are just the beginning steps in how to win your ex boyfriend back without driving him further away.
For more ideas you will want to read a book written to repair relationships by T 'Dub' Jackson. He authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for me.
1) The most useful piece of information that I can give you is to always remember that patience is a virtue. Do not rush anything.
Start things off with simply and small actions whenever you pass your ex. Maybe you should just wave and say hello every so often. You should maintain eye contact so that he knows you are communicating with him and not with somebody else, but do not let it go much further than this. Don't make your eye contact one of those leering, sexually responding types of glares. Remember, less is best.
2) You should make an attempt to talk to him when you can but remember to slowly implement conversation. Remember that you should keep your conversation brief, and rather basic in nature. Do not reveal too much, because mystery is actually quite appealing for many men. Also, if you run into him at a party or a social gathering, if your friends come into the room, you may consider stopping the conversation to return to them. But don't be rude or conniving. This will let him know that while the communication between the two of you is nice, he is not your highest priority right now. Don't be afraid to flirt a little bit here and there as well. But just a little.
3) Keep things fresh. Make sure that you look good and smell good. Appeal to all of his senses. Keep things changed up on a fairly regular basis in order to keep him interested in you. You should put some thought into your appearance because maintaining your good looks will show confidence and respect for yourself. A confident (but not egotistical or arrogant) body is something that most men find quite sexy and attractive.
4) Don't be afraid to throw a few honest compliments out there every so often. You are going to want to make sure that your ex feels good any time he is around you if you really want to get your ex back, so you want to make him feel good about himself. Talk about the good times that you and he spent together, bringing up good memories from the past. Help him remember some of the best highlights from the days of your relationship and enjoy the reminiscing. If he feels good when he is with you then you have already positioned yourself as a person he wants to associate with.
Try to become your ex's friend. First and foremost, this is a must. Then if he wants you back as more than just a friend, he will let you know. Remember what people who have been together for a long time say, you must be friends first, then in later days when things are not as attractive or situations may have changed (and not necessarily for the better) you will still have your friendship to hold you close. Be his friend, open up to him, show him a nice time, and if his feelings for you are rekindled, he will let you know. Take things slowly and don't act too needy. Instead, just play it cool and let him come to you. If things are meant to be, they will be, and you will learn how to get him back through the process.
Consider these ideas...
Did something get misunderstood between you and your boyfriend, causing one or both of you to flee? If you thought that the two of you were well on your way to creating a happy relationship and then somehow fell off the track, don't worry! It is possible to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back with the right steps and a basic understanding of how to go about it.
First, you are going to want to ask yourself some serious questions. The answers to these questions are really important when it comes to figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back.
- Is the matter that caused the breakup actually important enough to warrant the attention it is getting? Sometimes we read a whole lot more into a situation than it actually should receive. I'm sure you have heard of making a mountain out of a molehill. This would apply here. Women especially have a difficult time with this, because, as I have stated in other articles, women converse using all of their senses. Men don't. So a man can say something and mean nothing more than exactly what he says, but a women can conceive those same words and have them result in hurt feelings. Make sure that you are not blowing things out of proportion.
- Is it even really appropriate to argue about this matter right now? Maybe this really doesn't even matter. It's like arguing over spilled milk. Once it's spilled, it's dumb to argue about who spilled it. What's done is done and we have to figure a way to forgive and go on. Clean up the mess together and move forward. No one can move into the future if they are holding on to the past.
- Can anything be changed or made different by rehashing the argument over and over or is it more worthwhile to just nip the argument in the bud and move on? Don't waste the space in your head (or in your life) dwelling on should haves or could haves. Let's just go with what we've got!
- Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place? It might seem like it at first, until you consider the repercussions and then realize it is but a tiny pixel in the photograph of your life.
If you answer no to any of the aforementioned questions after considering all the particulars, then stop pressing the matter and get on with your relationship. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled by considering the reality of the situation. Surprisingly enough, many breakup inducing arguments are really completely unnecessary. Many arguments could be cast aside if only the parties involved would let the tension slide and move on. Look at yourself. Some introspection might prove to show that you are just looking for an argument.
The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop fretting so hard about how you are being perceived. It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. You want to be yourself and let your behavior be natural and show. This way, people like your ex boyfriend, will perceive you for who you actually are, rather than who you are trying to be. You can't possibly hope to build a relationship based on lies and disguises, so don't even try!
Emotionally and mentally distancing yourself from your ex is an important step in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calmed and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, this is when a true resolution can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. Clear your mind and see the things the way they really are. It's important to stay in contact and maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to survive the conversation.
Once your head is clear, and his head is clear, this is when the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate enough to build a solution.
Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through. This should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you care so deeply for.
These are just the beginning steps in how to win your ex boyfriend back without driving him further away.
For more ideas you will want to read a book written to repair relationships by T 'Dub' Jackson. He authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for me.
Friday, December 4, 2009
What If My Ex Wants More Space?
Have you ever been a relationship which is so powerful and makes the world seem bright and perfect when, all of a sudden, it seems like a tornado has ripped your heart out because your boyfriend tells you that he needs more space? Almost everyone has experienced this at one time or another.
There are many reasons why your boyfriend feels this way. Family problems, insecurities, or a fear of commitment are just a few. It's not that he physically needs more space, but often times his head is reeling with so many haunting ideas that he feels like he's got to simplify and pare down his emotions. Here are some tips for answering the age old "how to get my ex back" question if your ex boyfriend decides that he needs more space.
1) Give him some space. Don't be smothering him by making more demands on his time. It might even be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own. You definitely don't want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you. Clearly you are still in love with him. Show him this by respecting his wishes for a little bit of space.
2) Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space. Remember that conversation to a man is a totally different concept than it is to a woman, so he may not want to pour out his heart, but that's okay. You just want him to know that you are there if he needs someone to talk to.
3) Respect him. He's got to know that you respect him. And his wishes. If he knows this then eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again. This will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that your major focus should be primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings. You don't want to undo your hard work.
4) If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances in the way you would like, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. Remember that men cannot multi-task. Your relationship with him may not be on the front burner and he just can't focus on it right now.That does not mean that he doesn't care. If he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship. But don't push. I still remember that physics analogy about following the path of least resistance. And most men do!
5) If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. If his signals are pointing at some other object, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally. You don't want to overwhelm him.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your ex back.
There are many reasons why your boyfriend feels this way. Family problems, insecurities, or a fear of commitment are just a few. It's not that he physically needs more space, but often times his head is reeling with so many haunting ideas that he feels like he's got to simplify and pare down his emotions. Here are some tips for answering the age old "how to get my ex back" question if your ex boyfriend decides that he needs more space.
1) Give him some space. Don't be smothering him by making more demands on his time. It might even be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own. You definitely don't want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you. Clearly you are still in love with him. Show him this by respecting his wishes for a little bit of space.
2) Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space. Remember that conversation to a man is a totally different concept than it is to a woman, so he may not want to pour out his heart, but that's okay. You just want him to know that you are there if he needs someone to talk to.
3) Respect him. He's got to know that you respect him. And his wishes. If he knows this then eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again. This will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that your major focus should be primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings. You don't want to undo your hard work.
4) If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances in the way you would like, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. Remember that men cannot multi-task. Your relationship with him may not be on the front burner and he just can't focus on it right now.That does not mean that he doesn't care. If he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship. But don't push. I still remember that physics analogy about following the path of least resistance. And most men do!
5) If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. If his signals are pointing at some other object, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally. You don't want to overwhelm him.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your ex back.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
How Do I Get My Ex Back After He Has Moved On?
Have you broken up with your boyfriend, and are now asking for help like 'how do I get my ex back when he's moved on'? Don't spend time moping, because breaking up and losing that relationship does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman. Even if he no longer appears to be interested in associating with you. The magic is in the fact that you can still repair your previous relationship.
1) The first step in getting the man of your dreams back into your life is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a lot of options that you can pursue from this point on.
2) One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Be a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again. After all, if he loved you before then he probably still has a spark which just has to be re-ignited to be a full sized flame.
3) When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him, but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. Be confident of who you are without him. You are going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. Since playing games is not the best way to go then you do not want give an air of hard to get. You do want to make him more interested in the process of being with you, but that means that you don't want to be clingy and begging for him.
4) You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are interested and available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of a bit of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone, but it is important that you play it straight. If he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.
5) Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs. Again, avoid acting clingy and being perceived as desperate.
6) Any time that you know he is looking at you, or if you feel like he is looking at you, look at him out of the corner of your eye. This sidelong glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but in a mysterious kind of way. Never underestimate the power of eye contact in this way. It is teasingly romantic.
7) Casually remind him of some of the best times that you have had together. These good memories will help him to remember how good the two of you used to be together. Don't bring up any bad memories, because it will only hurt his bad side and stir up feelings of resentment, which will not do you any good. Remember that the only way to get on with the future is to get over the past.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your ex back.
If these ideas stir your interest and you'd like to see some free videos and get some more ideas, then look here.
1) The first step in getting the man of your dreams back into your life is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a lot of options that you can pursue from this point on.
2) One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Be a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again. After all, if he loved you before then he probably still has a spark which just has to be re-ignited to be a full sized flame.
3) When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him, but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. Be confident of who you are without him. You are going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. Since playing games is not the best way to go then you do not want give an air of hard to get. You do want to make him more interested in the process of being with you, but that means that you don't want to be clingy and begging for him.
4) You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are interested and available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of a bit of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone, but it is important that you play it straight. If he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.
5) Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs. Again, avoid acting clingy and being perceived as desperate.
6) Any time that you know he is looking at you, or if you feel like he is looking at you, look at him out of the corner of your eye. This sidelong glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but in a mysterious kind of way. Never underestimate the power of eye contact in this way. It is teasingly romantic.
7) Casually remind him of some of the best times that you have had together. These good memories will help him to remember how good the two of you used to be together. Don't bring up any bad memories, because it will only hurt his bad side and stir up feelings of resentment, which will not do you any good. Remember that the only way to get on with the future is to get over the past.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your ex back.
If these ideas stir your interest and you'd like to see some free videos and get some more ideas, then look here.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Can I Get My Girlfriend Back?
If you’re wondering, “Can I get my ex girlfriend back?” then the breakup must not have been so devastating that you think the relationship can’t be saved. At least you must hope that it can be saved and thinking it is half the battle. You’ll have to hope she feels the same way. If you hurt your ex during the split then you should apologize, now’s the time to say you’re sorry. Being sorry and sincerely showing it is a good first step. There is a correct way to say your sorry and T Dub and shows you in a video the right way to do this.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing my sensitive side?
Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back together, but the odds are more and more in your favor when you do things right. Show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are. Just pay attention to what she does. Consider her feelings and communicate on a level that she will understand. The old words that actions speak louder than words are even more true when speaking to a woman. Heed these words of wisdom. If your gestures of sorrow only make her angry—she throws away the roses or something dramatic like that, for example—change your tactics until you find that particular something she will respond to. Remember that women and men are NOT created equal.
If flowers or cards frustrate her, for example, maybe that’s because it’s easy to pick up the phone and order flowers or buy a card someone else wrote. Try putting yourself in her shoes and try to figure out something more appealing. Buy a blank card and write your own verse in it. It doesn’t have to rhyme, in fact, many times it’s better if it doesn’t. Try to honestly express how you feel. Or pick flowers and present her with a bouquet that you put together all by yourself. Remember that a woman is defined by all the senses. She is many faceted and you must appeal to all of her senses.
A common complaint among women is that men aren’t thoughtful. Were you thoughtful during the relationship? Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by being thoughtful? Not necessarily, but it’s one more step toward your goal of getting her back. Every positive action you can do builds up to make it easier and easier for her to come back to you. Like an onion, a relationship with a woman can have many layers. Build those layers in your favor. Don’t expect things to happen right away, though.
If you spent your relationship rarely doing thoughtful things, or you only did them in the beginning, she’ll probably doubt the things you do now. Just be patient, and keep up your efforts. Don’t appear frustrated or angry. Do the thoughtful things because it feels good to make her happy, not because you’re working toward a goal. If you appear to be doing something only because you some hidden agenda, she will recognize this as only a temporary change and think that you are a fake. Be consistent in your actions and words so that you do not come off as phony. You have to genuinely want to be thoughtful of her.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by dating other women?
If it’s been a long time since the breakup, and you’re still working on being thoughtful, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire. She may see this as you being two-faced. Like why is he wooing me while he's involved with someone else?
Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has a boyfriend?
The odds are against it, but if you can show her that she’ll be happier with you than the new boyfriend you’ll have a good chance. Forget the odds and go for what you want. Appeal to her in ways he can't and you'll have an even better chance of building a relationship with her. Being thoughtful will go a long way toward showing her that. Even if it seems hopeless, don’t give up.
If it appears she’s moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great week. But don’t look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness will really impress her if it is genuine.
The points made above are only just one step in the equation of getting your true love back. The important thing is to have a step by step plan that will lead you in your heartfelt pursuit.
Frankly, that's what I did when my true love dumped me. I followed a plan authored by T 'Dub' Jackson. When my cause was almost hopeless and I was dieing inside, it hauled me up by my bootstraps and helped me get my life's love back. It's called "The Magic of Making Up" and you can check it out at: http://1042csm00.makingup.hop.clickbank.net
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing my sensitive side?
Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back together, but the odds are more and more in your favor when you do things right. Show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are. Just pay attention to what she does. Consider her feelings and communicate on a level that she will understand. The old words that actions speak louder than words are even more true when speaking to a woman. Heed these words of wisdom. If your gestures of sorrow only make her angry—she throws away the roses or something dramatic like that, for example—change your tactics until you find that particular something she will respond to. Remember that women and men are NOT created equal.
If flowers or cards frustrate her, for example, maybe that’s because it’s easy to pick up the phone and order flowers or buy a card someone else wrote. Try putting yourself in her shoes and try to figure out something more appealing. Buy a blank card and write your own verse in it. It doesn’t have to rhyme, in fact, many times it’s better if it doesn’t. Try to honestly express how you feel. Or pick flowers and present her with a bouquet that you put together all by yourself. Remember that a woman is defined by all the senses. She is many faceted and you must appeal to all of her senses.
A common complaint among women is that men aren’t thoughtful. Were you thoughtful during the relationship? Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by being thoughtful? Not necessarily, but it’s one more step toward your goal of getting her back. Every positive action you can do builds up to make it easier and easier for her to come back to you. Like an onion, a relationship with a woman can have many layers. Build those layers in your favor. Don’t expect things to happen right away, though.
If you spent your relationship rarely doing thoughtful things, or you only did them in the beginning, she’ll probably doubt the things you do now. Just be patient, and keep up your efforts. Don’t appear frustrated or angry. Do the thoughtful things because it feels good to make her happy, not because you’re working toward a goal. If you appear to be doing something only because you some hidden agenda, she will recognize this as only a temporary change and think that you are a fake. Be consistent in your actions and words so that you do not come off as phony. You have to genuinely want to be thoughtful of her.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by dating other women?
If it’s been a long time since the breakup, and you’re still working on being thoughtful, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire. She may see this as you being two-faced. Like why is he wooing me while he's involved with someone else?
Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has a boyfriend?
The odds are against it, but if you can show her that she’ll be happier with you than the new boyfriend you’ll have a good chance. Forget the odds and go for what you want. Appeal to her in ways he can't and you'll have an even better chance of building a relationship with her. Being thoughtful will go a long way toward showing her that. Even if it seems hopeless, don’t give up.
If it appears she’s moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great week. But don’t look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness will really impress her if it is genuine.
The points made above are only just one step in the equation of getting your true love back. The important thing is to have a step by step plan that will lead you in your heartfelt pursuit.
Frankly, that's what I did when my true love dumped me. I followed a plan authored by T 'Dub' Jackson. When my cause was almost hopeless and I was dieing inside, it hauled me up by my bootstraps and helped me get my life's love back. It's called "The Magic of Making Up" and you can check it out at: http://1042csm00.makingup.hop.clickbank.net
Friday, November 27, 2009
I Am Heartbroken, Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?
You've probably in a relationship for a while; you really never thought that it wasn't going to last and then, all of a sudden, BAM...he says it's over.
If you’ve just been through a breakup then at least several times a day you’re probably thinking to yourself, ‘Can I get my ex boyfriend back?” Every relationship is different, so every breakup is different. There are some common threads though of a healthy relationship that will work for you no matter what the reason that you broke up. There are some things you can do to help get him back.
Be nice.
That might go without saying, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want. It’s not. If you nag, complain or act unpleasant, you’re just reminding him of things he wants to get away from. If you make things uncomfortable every time you see him, he’ll only want to see you less and less. Remember what your mother always told you, "You can attract more bees with honey than you can with vinegar."
The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away. Be as pleasant as you can whenever you’re around him, unless the only way to do so is to be absolutely fake. Nasty is not good, fake is worse.
If you’re wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? then one would have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway. You might be better off finding someone who doesn’t make you need to pretend. You need a relationship where you can be you. Honest, pure and real!
If you can be pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably don’t seem nearly as important now. You might find yourself wondering why you weren’t more pleasant when you were together.
You can’t change the past, but you can learn from it when you’re back together. Point out situations in the past and let him know that you did take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but don’t expect him to admit it now.
Some other things you might be thinking of trying could either be disastrous or they could work in your favor.
Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?
This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has someone else, he’s focused on the new relationship. You’re part of the past, and not a priority. Being nice right now is crucial. You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he’s missing. Don't try to sabotage his new relationship but make it evident to him that one is possible with you should he change his mind and want to come back.
Can I get my ex boyfriend back by trickery?
No matter what kind of deception you’re thinking of, even if it doesn’t seem harmful—forget it now. Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire later. What’s the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty? When you get him back you want it to be forever, so don't undermine your relationship before it hardly gets started.
Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?
It’s possible, but it could also backfire and make him think you’ve moved on. If you really feel the need to date, then do so only if you need dating to be happy.
But if you’re considering going out with someone just to make your ex jealous, that’s not really fair to your date, or you. Games like this usually don’t work. Be honest with yourself and others, and you stand a better chance of getting back together with your ex. You are being unfair to yourself, your date and your ex.
These aren't my original ideas. I learned them from a book on fixing my relationship. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
If you’ve just been through a breakup then at least several times a day you’re probably thinking to yourself, ‘Can I get my ex boyfriend back?” Every relationship is different, so every breakup is different. There are some common threads though of a healthy relationship that will work for you no matter what the reason that you broke up. There are some things you can do to help get him back.
Be nice.
That might go without saying, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want. It’s not. If you nag, complain or act unpleasant, you’re just reminding him of things he wants to get away from. If you make things uncomfortable every time you see him, he’ll only want to see you less and less. Remember what your mother always told you, "You can attract more bees with honey than you can with vinegar."
The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away. Be as pleasant as you can whenever you’re around him, unless the only way to do so is to be absolutely fake. Nasty is not good, fake is worse.
If you’re wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? then one would have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway. You might be better off finding someone who doesn’t make you need to pretend. You need a relationship where you can be you. Honest, pure and real!
If you can be pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably don’t seem nearly as important now. You might find yourself wondering why you weren’t more pleasant when you were together.
You can’t change the past, but you can learn from it when you’re back together. Point out situations in the past and let him know that you did take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but don’t expect him to admit it now.
Some other things you might be thinking of trying could either be disastrous or they could work in your favor.
Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?
This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has someone else, he’s focused on the new relationship. You’re part of the past, and not a priority. Being nice right now is crucial. You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he’s missing. Don't try to sabotage his new relationship but make it evident to him that one is possible with you should he change his mind and want to come back.
Can I get my ex boyfriend back by trickery?
No matter what kind of deception you’re thinking of, even if it doesn’t seem harmful—forget it now. Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire later. What’s the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty? When you get him back you want it to be forever, so don't undermine your relationship before it hardly gets started.
Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?
It’s possible, but it could also backfire and make him think you’ve moved on. If you really feel the need to date, then do so only if you need dating to be happy.
But if you’re considering going out with someone just to make your ex jealous, that’s not really fair to your date, or you. Games like this usually don’t work. Be honest with yourself and others, and you stand a better chance of getting back together with your ex. You are being unfair to yourself, your date and your ex.
These aren't my original ideas. I learned them from a book on fixing my relationship. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
What Should I Do To Get My Ex Back?
Breaking up is really hard to do and when you break up with someone you love, you go through lots of painful emotions. And lots. And lots. And lots. You feel sad, lost, depressed and hurt. You miss them. You wonder to yourself how you're ever going to be able to make it through a single day without them. “What should I do to get my ex back?” becomes a question you constantly ask yourself. Over and over again.
There are many websites, books, blogs, forums and even courses designed to answer that very question...what should I do to get my ex back? Your common sense can really make a difference after a breakup. And common courtesy can go long way toward healing your relationship too. Think of the other person rather than just yourself. You know, they might be hurting too, after all, they were part of the relationship also.
If you’re preoccupied with your lost relationship, wondering “what should I do to get my ex back?” then take it from me. To give yourself the best chance of getting back together with that special someone, then follow this simple advice.
Don’t play games. This is very important, but unfortunately many people resort to playing games during breakups because it gives them a sense of power. If you can make the other person think that you don’t care about them, or if you make them think that you care more than you really do, you’re manipulating them and that can feel great. But it won’t feel great for long. And you're a jerk because you are a manipulating person, so your ex just might be better off without you.
Eventually you’ll realize that lying and tricking the other person isn’t a good feeling. And anything good that happens because of it will probably only be temporary because it was based on a lie.
Some people play games where they pretend to be dating someone else, or they pretend to be in love with someone else. This is a ploy to make the ex jealous. While it does work now and then, other times it makes the breakup permanent because it backfires. Your ex honestly believes that you have moved on and have no interest in them.
Your ex could be so jealous at the thought of you being with someone else that they want you back. Or they could decide that since you moved on so quickly, you don’t really care about them anyway. You have no way of knowing which way this ploy will work until it’s too late. So you are much better off just staying away from this approach. Be considerate.
Don’t be mean. This holds true in any situation or any relationship, but sometimes the anger around a breakup makes us act more viciously than we normally might. Even if you’re hurt, the fact that you want to know, ‘What should I do to get my ex back?” shows that you’re ready to forgive that person. If you couldn’t, you wouldn’t want your ex back, you’d be glad it was over. Be nice and be genuine.
Now, think about how you’ve been acting. If you were your ex, would you look forward to spending time with you or talking to you? Or would you dread each time? Do you shout and nag? Even if you feel like raising all kinds of arguments, simply don’t. Work very hard at controlling your anger and hurt, and being a person they can miss. Many times if you can learn the art of self-control, this alone may enough to remedy your breakup.
“What should I do to get my ex back?” Be on your best behavior and make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. They’ll remember your good points and will miss them. Then you’ll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called, The Magic Of Making Up. And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
There are many websites, books, blogs, forums and even courses designed to answer that very question...what should I do to get my ex back? Your common sense can really make a difference after a breakup. And common courtesy can go long way toward healing your relationship too. Think of the other person rather than just yourself. You know, they might be hurting too, after all, they were part of the relationship also.
If you’re preoccupied with your lost relationship, wondering “what should I do to get my ex back?” then take it from me. To give yourself the best chance of getting back together with that special someone, then follow this simple advice.
Don’t play games. This is very important, but unfortunately many people resort to playing games during breakups because it gives them a sense of power. If you can make the other person think that you don’t care about them, or if you make them think that you care more than you really do, you’re manipulating them and that can feel great. But it won’t feel great for long. And you're a jerk because you are a manipulating person, so your ex just might be better off without you.
Eventually you’ll realize that lying and tricking the other person isn’t a good feeling. And anything good that happens because of it will probably only be temporary because it was based on a lie.
Some people play games where they pretend to be dating someone else, or they pretend to be in love with someone else. This is a ploy to make the ex jealous. While it does work now and then, other times it makes the breakup permanent because it backfires. Your ex honestly believes that you have moved on and have no interest in them.
Your ex could be so jealous at the thought of you being with someone else that they want you back. Or they could decide that since you moved on so quickly, you don’t really care about them anyway. You have no way of knowing which way this ploy will work until it’s too late. So you are much better off just staying away from this approach. Be considerate.
Don’t be mean. This holds true in any situation or any relationship, but sometimes the anger around a breakup makes us act more viciously than we normally might. Even if you’re hurt, the fact that you want to know, ‘What should I do to get my ex back?” shows that you’re ready to forgive that person. If you couldn’t, you wouldn’t want your ex back, you’d be glad it was over. Be nice and be genuine.
Now, think about how you’ve been acting. If you were your ex, would you look forward to spending time with you or talking to you? Or would you dread each time? Do you shout and nag? Even if you feel like raising all kinds of arguments, simply don’t. Work very hard at controlling your anger and hurt, and being a person they can miss. Many times if you can learn the art of self-control, this alone may enough to remedy your breakup.
“What should I do to get my ex back?” Be on your best behavior and make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. They’ll remember your good points and will miss them. Then you’ll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called, The Magic Of Making Up. And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
How I Can Get My Ex Back With A Confident Attitude
Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend is usually really depressing, it does not necessarily need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup suddenly leaves you with a feeling of confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. Hooray, because you can do it! If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn the correct way to respond following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting your ex back will be easier than you imagined.
It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way toward mending the relationship. So...let a smile be your umbrella! Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?"
Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy and acting all depressed, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation. You are capable of surviving on your own.
Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go of. This is one of the best ways to let your ex see you in a new and, possibly, different light.
Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine. You do not need to beg for his or her sympathy. You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all.
If this information is helping you see the best scenario for fixing your relationship then you will also want to watch the free videos here.
It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way toward mending the relationship. So...let a smile be your umbrella! Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?"
Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy and acting all depressed, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation. You are capable of surviving on your own.
Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go of. This is one of the best ways to let your ex see you in a new and, possibly, different light.
Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine. You do not need to beg for his or her sympathy. You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all.
If this information is helping you see the best scenario for fixing your relationship then you will also want to watch the free videos here.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
3 Steps To Get Back Together With Your Ex
Have you just recently experienced a break up, and you are wondering "how can I get back together with my ex”? You may want to alleviate your pain as soon as possible and get your ex back immediately. This is a common feeling that everyone experiences. The pain of breakup is so overwhelming that all you can do is think of ways to remedy it.
You might find yourself falling into an emotionally depressed state, and you may find yourself wondering what to do next. You may immediately feel like calling your ex and begging him or her to come back to you. Sometimes we are so irrational because all we can think of is getting back together and ending the pain of the breakup. Is this really going to make things better? I don't think so. Rather than make things better, what it is probably going to do is make your situation much worse. You could possible be doing something that is going to chase your ex away even further.
What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling. Take the approach of sort of a reverse psychology. Do you feel like calling your ex? Don't! Do you feel like staying inside and crying all day long? Don't! Instead, follow these three basic steps and you will discover the answer that you need to the ever imposing question "How do I get back together with my ex?"
Step 1 - How to get back with my ex: Accept the Break Up!
That doesn't mean that you have to like it; it just means that you understand that this breakup may be what he/she needs right now and you are okay with that.
First and foremost, you need to accept that the break up is happening. Tell your ex that you are okay with it, and allow the "moving on" process to begin. When you do this, it will eliminate a large amount of the tension and stress that is being experienced by both of you. Your ex will need time to think about the relationship, and this will give you time as well to consider your options. If your ex realizes that he or she still loves you, they will find a way to get back with you.
Step 2 - How to get back with my ex: Do not contact your ex!
No matter how badly you want to make contact with them, DO NOT text, call, Facebook, MySpace, leave notes on their car or under their door...leave them alone for a little while! Do not make an effort to contact your ex anymore right now. You should cut communication off with him or her so that there can be some "thinking time". This may seem counterintuitive, but by cutting communication off you are signaling that you are understanding of their needs and you are doing just fine.
This will allow him or her to think about the relationship and how they feel about its value. It will also allow them to have some time to miss you again. When you can separate yourself from your ex and can calm your nerves then this will be the best time for them to realize how important you were to them.
Step 3 - How to get back with my ex: Plan Ahead for the Get Together!
When you finally do get your second chance, you don't want to be a fumbling idiot that blows it again. Once you have completed the two steps mentioned just above, you can start working on planning when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. This will allow you to get a better idea of whether or not your ex still loves you, and also if there is any chance that you and your ex will be able to get back together.
"How to get back with my ex?" Can be a little more complicated than the three steps above. But they are a good start and will improve your chances of winning your ex back.
If you want to get some other great ideas on starting the process of getting back with your ex, take a look at these free videos.
You might find yourself falling into an emotionally depressed state, and you may find yourself wondering what to do next. You may immediately feel like calling your ex and begging him or her to come back to you. Sometimes we are so irrational because all we can think of is getting back together and ending the pain of the breakup. Is this really going to make things better? I don't think so. Rather than make things better, what it is probably going to do is make your situation much worse. You could possible be doing something that is going to chase your ex away even further.
What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling. Take the approach of sort of a reverse psychology. Do you feel like calling your ex? Don't! Do you feel like staying inside and crying all day long? Don't! Instead, follow these three basic steps and you will discover the answer that you need to the ever imposing question "How do I get back together with my ex?"
Step 1 - How to get back with my ex: Accept the Break Up!
That doesn't mean that you have to like it; it just means that you understand that this breakup may be what he/she needs right now and you are okay with that.
First and foremost, you need to accept that the break up is happening. Tell your ex that you are okay with it, and allow the "moving on" process to begin. When you do this, it will eliminate a large amount of the tension and stress that is being experienced by both of you. Your ex will need time to think about the relationship, and this will give you time as well to consider your options. If your ex realizes that he or she still loves you, they will find a way to get back with you.
Step 2 - How to get back with my ex: Do not contact your ex!
No matter how badly you want to make contact with them, DO NOT text, call, Facebook, MySpace, leave notes on their car or under their door...leave them alone for a little while! Do not make an effort to contact your ex anymore right now. You should cut communication off with him or her so that there can be some "thinking time". This may seem counterintuitive, but by cutting communication off you are signaling that you are understanding of their needs and you are doing just fine.
This will allow him or her to think about the relationship and how they feel about its value. It will also allow them to have some time to miss you again. When you can separate yourself from your ex and can calm your nerves then this will be the best time for them to realize how important you were to them.
Step 3 - How to get back with my ex: Plan Ahead for the Get Together!
When you finally do get your second chance, you don't want to be a fumbling idiot that blows it again. Once you have completed the two steps mentioned just above, you can start working on planning when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. This will allow you to get a better idea of whether or not your ex still loves you, and also if there is any chance that you and your ex will be able to get back together.
"How to get back with my ex?" Can be a little more complicated than the three steps above. But they are a good start and will improve your chances of winning your ex back.
If you want to get some other great ideas on starting the process of getting back with your ex, take a look at these free videos.
If You Want To Get Back With Your Girlfriend Then Consider These Ideas
Sometimes when a relationship suddenly ends, either one or both parties involved may still be in doubt as to whether the end is really the end. This is especially true when a relationship is new. Can it really be over? Some men simply cannot accept the fact that their girlfriend walked away. Therefore, they find themselves still hoping she'll still be there in the morning and that it was all a dream. Are you asking "How can I get back together with my ex girlfriend"? It is important that you create a plan regarding how to do it.
In order to get back together with your ex girlfriend, there are a number of things that you can do. Here are some tips that you should keep in mind when working through this process.
1) There is always a second chance for everyone, so it's not impossible for you to get back together with your ex girlfriend. Realize this and quit causing yourself all kinds of anguish about getting a second chance. First, you should ask yourself some questions. Do you still love her? Do you really want her back? Why? Are you trying to get her back because you don't want to be alone, or because you don't believe you should have been dumped? Or maybe you are genuinely committed to making this relationship work. If you are looking for a way to get back with your ex for reasons other than love, you are playing a dangerous game that would be better off avoided. Don't play into the game of being vengeful.
2) Do not appear desperate or needy to your girlfriend. If your priority is "how can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?" then you don't want to appear to her as though you are smotheringly begging for her to take you back. Although you may feel desperate, and you may really want her back, you absolutely need to control your emotions, keeping those needy, greedy ones to yourself. If you cannot help yourself, then it may be wise to talk to your friends or family so you can cry your heart out where she cannot see. Do not beg or cry in front of your girlfriend, however, and absolutely do not stalk her. Not with your cell phone, not through texting, not IMing, not socially posting to her on Facebook or MySpace...whether you think so or not, these can be forms of stalking.
3) Learn how to control your feelings. Get off your pity pot...forget about the self pity and instead work on the positive aspects of sorting things through with your ex. If you appear too needy, or if you come off as too desperate, she may end up avoiding you even more. No one wants to be smothered by someone!
4) Keep the communication lines with your ex open. She may have ended the relationship, but you just need to make her feel like communication lines are open and that you want to be civil. You should be available for her to communicate with her if she wants, but remember, do not stalk her. You do not have to be the one initiating the conversation, but you should be willing to say hello and have a conversation occasionally with her if this is her choice. Keep in touch casually.
If you agree with any of this information and would like to see some free videos about fixing your relationship, watch these.
In order to get back together with your ex girlfriend, there are a number of things that you can do. Here are some tips that you should keep in mind when working through this process.
1) There is always a second chance for everyone, so it's not impossible for you to get back together with your ex girlfriend. Realize this and quit causing yourself all kinds of anguish about getting a second chance. First, you should ask yourself some questions. Do you still love her? Do you really want her back? Why? Are you trying to get her back because you don't want to be alone, or because you don't believe you should have been dumped? Or maybe you are genuinely committed to making this relationship work. If you are looking for a way to get back with your ex for reasons other than love, you are playing a dangerous game that would be better off avoided. Don't play into the game of being vengeful.
2) Do not appear desperate or needy to your girlfriend. If your priority is "how can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?" then you don't want to appear to her as though you are smotheringly begging for her to take you back. Although you may feel desperate, and you may really want her back, you absolutely need to control your emotions, keeping those needy, greedy ones to yourself. If you cannot help yourself, then it may be wise to talk to your friends or family so you can cry your heart out where she cannot see. Do not beg or cry in front of your girlfriend, however, and absolutely do not stalk her. Not with your cell phone, not through texting, not IMing, not socially posting to her on Facebook or MySpace...whether you think so or not, these can be forms of stalking.
3) Learn how to control your feelings. Get off your pity pot...forget about the self pity and instead work on the positive aspects of sorting things through with your ex. If you appear too needy, or if you come off as too desperate, she may end up avoiding you even more. No one wants to be smothered by someone!
4) Keep the communication lines with your ex open. She may have ended the relationship, but you just need to make her feel like communication lines are open and that you want to be civil. You should be available for her to communicate with her if she wants, but remember, do not stalk her. You do not have to be the one initiating the conversation, but you should be willing to say hello and have a conversation occasionally with her if this is her choice. Keep in touch casually.
If you agree with any of this information and would like to see some free videos about fixing your relationship, watch these.
Monday, November 23, 2009
5 Ways To Get Your Ex Back--Interested?
There are a variety of subjects which should be considered in order to keep a relationship healthy and strong. All of these have been thoroughly explored in this blog--if I haven't touched on them yet, then I will.
Relationships are fragile bonds that need to be built up and maintained in order to keep them healthy and allow them to flourish. Keeping a healthy relationship is a lot of work, but well worth whatever effort it takes. Through a natural cause of events, unfortunately, break ups do happen. They are beyond what we can conceive as painful and heart wrenching. They are more than just nerve wracking, stressful and frustrating. If you are involved in a relationship that breaks up, you may be thinking that you want to get back at your ex. First, you must confront yourself and ask, is this really the best step to take?
One of the most influential ways that you can actually start the process of getting back with your ex may put your ex in an interesting predicament. It may also repair the relationship by showing your ex how important you are and were to them. So not only are these 5 tips excellent methods for getting your ex back, but they will also put your ex in the position of seeing you for what you really are. Not for how they are imagining you since the breakup. I am not an advocate of being vengeful, but often times these very steps will get back at your ex as well as get your ex back.
1) Be strong. No one needs the needy, and this saying also applies very well when it comes to broken up relationships. You need to stop begging, clinging or exhibiting the behavior of someone who is feeling desperate. These days this is quite an achievement...what with cell phones, texting, IMing, Facebook and MySpace and all sorts of instant communication. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them by acting strong and giving your ex some space. Give your ex a chance to miss you. How can your ex miss you if you're still clinging to them like a vine on a grape arbor? DON'T BE CLINGY! When you have moved on, then you can proceed with winning your ex back.
2) Minimize communication. Closing the doors of communication may appear counterintuitive when your primary focus is to rekindle things, but it is one of the most important steps when getting your ex back. You don't want to smother your ex. Sort of think of things as a flame that you want to encourage to grow. Don't cut off the oxygen and smother it. Take a break from your ex, close off communication, and let him or her stew for a little while without any contact. This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize how valuable your relationship was.
3) Be flexible. Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Care more for their feelings than you do your own. Don't only be concerned with yourself and spend all of your time thinking 'me, me, me'. Be considerate of your ex's feelings too. Did you know they are going through a breakup also? Your ex might be surprised when they see this side of you, and it just may inspire them to build the lines of communication that were lacking when the breakup came into play.
4) Go out! This is no time for you to be alone. Call your friends and get out of the house. Don't sit at home waiting for the phone to ring, all the while crying to yourself, because your ex isn't calling you. Develop a social network and enjoy some entertainment in your life. This does not mean you need to date, or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.
5) Simply be yourself. If your ex fell in love with you once; it can happen again! There was a really good reason for why you and your ex had a relationship to begin with, so go back to being yourself and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed self perception of your own self will surely rub off on your ex as well. You are valuable; you just need to give your ex the opportunity to realize it.
Relationships are fragile bonds that need to be built up and maintained in order to keep them healthy and allow them to flourish. Keeping a healthy relationship is a lot of work, but well worth whatever effort it takes. Through a natural cause of events, unfortunately, break ups do happen. They are beyond what we can conceive as painful and heart wrenching. They are more than just nerve wracking, stressful and frustrating. If you are involved in a relationship that breaks up, you may be thinking that you want to get back at your ex. First, you must confront yourself and ask, is this really the best step to take?
One of the most influential ways that you can actually start the process of getting back with your ex may put your ex in an interesting predicament. It may also repair the relationship by showing your ex how important you are and were to them. So not only are these 5 tips excellent methods for getting your ex back, but they will also put your ex in the position of seeing you for what you really are. Not for how they are imagining you since the breakup. I am not an advocate of being vengeful, but often times these very steps will get back at your ex as well as get your ex back.
1) Be strong. No one needs the needy, and this saying also applies very well when it comes to broken up relationships. You need to stop begging, clinging or exhibiting the behavior of someone who is feeling desperate. These days this is quite an achievement...what with cell phones, texting, IMing, Facebook and MySpace and all sorts of instant communication. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them by acting strong and giving your ex some space. Give your ex a chance to miss you. How can your ex miss you if you're still clinging to them like a vine on a grape arbor? DON'T BE CLINGY! When you have moved on, then you can proceed with winning your ex back.
2) Minimize communication. Closing the doors of communication may appear counterintuitive when your primary focus is to rekindle things, but it is one of the most important steps when getting your ex back. You don't want to smother your ex. Sort of think of things as a flame that you want to encourage to grow. Don't cut off the oxygen and smother it. Take a break from your ex, close off communication, and let him or her stew for a little while without any contact. This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize how valuable your relationship was.
3) Be flexible. Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Care more for their feelings than you do your own. Don't only be concerned with yourself and spend all of your time thinking 'me, me, me'. Be considerate of your ex's feelings too. Did you know they are going through a breakup also? Your ex might be surprised when they see this side of you, and it just may inspire them to build the lines of communication that were lacking when the breakup came into play.
4) Go out! This is no time for you to be alone. Call your friends and get out of the house. Don't sit at home waiting for the phone to ring, all the while crying to yourself, because your ex isn't calling you. Develop a social network and enjoy some entertainment in your life. This does not mean you need to date, or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.
5) Simply be yourself. If your ex fell in love with you once; it can happen again! There was a really good reason for why you and your ex had a relationship to begin with, so go back to being yourself and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed self perception of your own self will surely rub off on your ex as well. You are valuable; you just need to give your ex the opportunity to realize it.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Let's Start To Get Your Ex Back
Did you just experience a break up? If so, then first off let me tell you how much I feel for you. I understand the hurt feelings, the pain of rejection and the suffering of a broken heart. Waking up to a day that you don't even care if you wake up to. Not wanting anything except that person who made your heart sing. I'm sorry with you that you had to go through this, but don't despair...things are going to get better; you can weather this storm.
Are you wondering how to go get an ex back? Nearly every adult has experienced some sort of a break up, whether it be with a girlfriend/boyfriend, a spouse or a significant other whom you lived with and shared your life for a considerable amount of time. Most of these people just work on healing from the breakup, moving on to what are supposed to be happier days and accepting the fact that the other person has gone forward in a different direction. Not so many are looking for a way to get an ex back. But if you are through with playing the victim and want to put some work into yourself and get your ex back, then there are options for you. Many folks out there deal with the situation of a breakup, but does breaking up simply mean that you cannot get back together with your ex? No way!
The fact is, over 90 percent of the people who want to get back with their ex actually do it. There is no reason why you cannot get an ex back after a break up providing that you know what steps are necessary to win your ex back. The first step in learning how to get an ex back is to determine what exactly happened that caused the break up. This can be a really tough determination. Many breakups stem from the fact that the genders are so different and there's a lot of room for misunderstanding and bad communication. You can feel exactly the same love for each other, but because men and women express it differently, it can easily be mistaken by a woman as "not-love" or a man as "smothering". Even though you cannot go back into the past and you cannot change what happened, you can try to learn from the mistakes that were made and you can grow from the experience.
The break up may have occurred because of a single event, or it may have occurred from behaviors that your ex could not deal with anymore. No matter what the reason was that led to the breakup, you need to get the specifics figured out so that you can deal with the situation if it should never come up again. You really have to explore what happened and then try to approach it from the other's point of view. You can get an ex back if you know how, but if you want to make it work on a long term basis, you need to figure out what went wrong in the first place. Then never let that happen again!
The next step in the process is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy person. Everyone will feel like they cannot live without their ex, but there is no point in making this obvious. We all go through that pain and shock of not being able to bear the thought of living without the other, much less functioning, but one of the secrets is to swallow that pain and not let the other person know about it. It would work in conjunction with the old adage, "Fake it 'til you make it". You should stay strong, and let your ex see that you are doing just fine by yourself. If you let everyone around you see your comfort and self confidence, then you will have a better chance of getting back together with your ex. Nobody wants a totally needy person to hang around their necks like an albatross and burden their ways, but they do want to follow a strong, confident person who knows where they are going and how they are going to get there. Or at least they seem like they do!
Trying to get back at your ex, or trying to make your ex jealous is not a good way to operate. These tactics usually backfire, plus they hurt the person you are using to make your ex jealous. Don't use people like that! You are better than that! In fact, these are some of the worst things that you can possibly do, because it will show your ex that he or she should simply move on because you already have. While you do want your ex to see that you're doing okay, you do not want it to inspire him or her to completely move on if your ideal scenario is to get back together. Let your ex see how strong and self confident you are, and they will feel inspired to get back together with you.
Don't try any tactics that cause you to be manipulative! This is so unattractive. Nobody should get into a relationship with a manipulative person. It really is a no-win situation. Manipulative people are usually self-seeking and egotistical, which are also very unattractive traits.
Are you wondering how to go get an ex back? Nearly every adult has experienced some sort of a break up, whether it be with a girlfriend/boyfriend, a spouse or a significant other whom you lived with and shared your life for a considerable amount of time. Most of these people just work on healing from the breakup, moving on to what are supposed to be happier days and accepting the fact that the other person has gone forward in a different direction. Not so many are looking for a way to get an ex back. But if you are through with playing the victim and want to put some work into yourself and get your ex back, then there are options for you. Many folks out there deal with the situation of a breakup, but does breaking up simply mean that you cannot get back together with your ex? No way!
The fact is, over 90 percent of the people who want to get back with their ex actually do it. There is no reason why you cannot get an ex back after a break up providing that you know what steps are necessary to win your ex back. The first step in learning how to get an ex back is to determine what exactly happened that caused the break up. This can be a really tough determination. Many breakups stem from the fact that the genders are so different and there's a lot of room for misunderstanding and bad communication. You can feel exactly the same love for each other, but because men and women express it differently, it can easily be mistaken by a woman as "not-love" or a man as "smothering". Even though you cannot go back into the past and you cannot change what happened, you can try to learn from the mistakes that were made and you can grow from the experience.
The break up may have occurred because of a single event, or it may have occurred from behaviors that your ex could not deal with anymore. No matter what the reason was that led to the breakup, you need to get the specifics figured out so that you can deal with the situation if it should never come up again. You really have to explore what happened and then try to approach it from the other's point of view. You can get an ex back if you know how, but if you want to make it work on a long term basis, you need to figure out what went wrong in the first place. Then never let that happen again!
The next step in the process is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy person. Everyone will feel like they cannot live without their ex, but there is no point in making this obvious. We all go through that pain and shock of not being able to bear the thought of living without the other, much less functioning, but one of the secrets is to swallow that pain and not let the other person know about it. It would work in conjunction with the old adage, "Fake it 'til you make it". You should stay strong, and let your ex see that you are doing just fine by yourself. If you let everyone around you see your comfort and self confidence, then you will have a better chance of getting back together with your ex. Nobody wants a totally needy person to hang around their necks like an albatross and burden their ways, but they do want to follow a strong, confident person who knows where they are going and how they are going to get there. Or at least they seem like they do!
Trying to get back at your ex, or trying to make your ex jealous is not a good way to operate. These tactics usually backfire, plus they hurt the person you are using to make your ex jealous. Don't use people like that! You are better than that! In fact, these are some of the worst things that you can possibly do, because it will show your ex that he or she should simply move on because you already have. While you do want your ex to see that you're doing okay, you do not want it to inspire him or her to completely move on if your ideal scenario is to get back together. Let your ex see how strong and self confident you are, and they will feel inspired to get back together with you.
Don't try any tactics that cause you to be manipulative! This is so unattractive. Nobody should get into a relationship with a manipulative person. It really is a no-win situation. Manipulative people are usually self-seeking and egotistical, which are also very unattractive traits.
Friday, November 20, 2009
How Can I Tell If My Ex Wants To Get Back With Me
Sometimes we can be unsure if our ex wants to get back with us or not. "How can I tell?" you might ask.
Well, if your ex is showing you a little bit of interest or, at least, seems interested in going out and spending time with you more than before then these can be taken as positive signs. If you are getting a sense that your ex is trying to flirt with you, then that can also be taken as a positive sign and it's okay to be hopeful. BUT you need to avoid jumping the gun. Don't jump from the kettle into the frying pan. You'll only get burned worse.
These are definitely encouraging signs that your ex is interested in getting you back. But even if you want to get back with your ex, you should not simply jump into things. The moment she gets near your cave you don't want to clobber her and drag her in...be patient. You know there's a reason why patience is thought of as a virtue. If you seem overanxious, you will probably push her away again. The best way to play things is to play hard to get (in moderation), which is probably what your ex will best respond to anyway. In fact, if your ex is giving indications that she wants you back, then the odds are that it was you playing it cool that led to the renewed interest in the first place.
Usually when you break up with your ex, or he or she breaks up with you, there is a natural level of missing one another, or longing to get back together. This is especially true following a relationship of a year or longer. You are so used to having the other by your side. You are comfortable together so, your ex is probably going to miss you no matter what, because of all the memories you both shared together during this period of time. But there are other emotions that come into play including past regrets. If you are wondering "does my ex want to get back with me" the odds are that your ex may be thinking the same thing for the same reasons.
Sometimes when an ex shows interest again following a break up however, it is only a game. They may see that you love them, and they may simply be trying to get attention, without actually intending to get you back. So, unless your ex really seems genuinely interested in spending time with you, they may just be passing the time because they have no other prospects on the horizon. Or worst of all they may see this as a way to get revenge for some perceived wrong. This is why it is important not to jump the gun, and why you should focus on understanding the situation before you act on it. You don't want to get played into a scenario of vulnerability.
It's better to get a feel for the situation before you act. Although a lot of people succumb to the question "does my ex want to get back with me" you are much better off being safe rather than sorry. In reality, if your ex does want to get back with you, playing hard to get (in moderation) is the best scenario because it will prevent you from getting hurt if your ex is not really serious about getting back with you.
If any of this makes sense to you and you want to watch some free videos to get some other ideas, click here.
Well, if your ex is showing you a little bit of interest or, at least, seems interested in going out and spending time with you more than before then these can be taken as positive signs. If you are getting a sense that your ex is trying to flirt with you, then that can also be taken as a positive sign and it's okay to be hopeful. BUT you need to avoid jumping the gun. Don't jump from the kettle into the frying pan. You'll only get burned worse.
These are definitely encouraging signs that your ex is interested in getting you back. But even if you want to get back with your ex, you should not simply jump into things. The moment she gets near your cave you don't want to clobber her and drag her in...be patient. You know there's a reason why patience is thought of as a virtue. If you seem overanxious, you will probably push her away again. The best way to play things is to play hard to get (in moderation), which is probably what your ex will best respond to anyway. In fact, if your ex is giving indications that she wants you back, then the odds are that it was you playing it cool that led to the renewed interest in the first place.
Usually when you break up with your ex, or he or she breaks up with you, there is a natural level of missing one another, or longing to get back together. This is especially true following a relationship of a year or longer. You are so used to having the other by your side. You are comfortable together so, your ex is probably going to miss you no matter what, because of all the memories you both shared together during this period of time. But there are other emotions that come into play including past regrets. If you are wondering "does my ex want to get back with me" the odds are that your ex may be thinking the same thing for the same reasons.
Sometimes when an ex shows interest again following a break up however, it is only a game. They may see that you love them, and they may simply be trying to get attention, without actually intending to get you back. So, unless your ex really seems genuinely interested in spending time with you, they may just be passing the time because they have no other prospects on the horizon. Or worst of all they may see this as a way to get revenge for some perceived wrong. This is why it is important not to jump the gun, and why you should focus on understanding the situation before you act on it. You don't want to get played into a scenario of vulnerability.
It's better to get a feel for the situation before you act. Although a lot of people succumb to the question "does my ex want to get back with me" you are much better off being safe rather than sorry. In reality, if your ex does want to get back with you, playing hard to get (in moderation) is the best scenario because it will prevent you from getting hurt if your ex is not really serious about getting back with you.
If any of this makes sense to you and you want to watch some free videos to get some other ideas, click here.
What Can I Do To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back
A lot of guys find themselves asking "What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" following a breakup. It's like the old song goes, sometimes you just don't know what you've got until it's gone. They begin to start thinking and philosophizing about everything that they could have done differently. They even begin to make plans about apology letters and other things that might be able to help them score their relationship back. Problem is they don't know how to think and feel like a woman, so they are way off base thinking they can do this all by themselves.
This tends to be a dead end for one reason above all else: Because you can never really tell what the real reasons were behind a breakup. Women are emotional and sometimes they do not even know what led to the break up. They may not even know know what is making them feel the way they do. Often what is a problem is simply a failure to communicate. Do not fear though, makes friends with the conflict. In many circumstances it is only harmful to lose all your energy trying to figure out what went wrong.
The first main strategy to answer the question about "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" is to forget about the relationship for a while, putting your energy into something else. Go out, make friends, have fun, network, and forget about women in general. Set some realistic goals about expanding your repertoire when it comes to seduction and meeting people.
Give yourself a couple of months and make changes in your life. Take some time away from your ex and it will work wonders.
The effect that strategies like this will have, is that it will allow you to make gradual changes in your life. It also allows you to make changes in how you perceive the subject of relationships. After a few months, you may have a much better idea of how you want to proceed with your ex.
Do you still want to get back together with her? Or are you ready to move on? Act accordingly. If you still want to get back together with her, it might be time to figure out how she is feeling about you.
Now is your chance to be a little more direct when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back. You need to play strategically, however. Do not simply beg her to get back with you, because this is not a good time to be emotional.
Instead, what you should be doing is playing things cool with your ex. If you have spent enough time apart from her, she is probably missing you as badly as you are missing her. Show her that you are doing fine without her, but don't over do it by playing too hard to get. This will inspire her to really rethink things.
If getting back together with your ex really is meant to be, now is the time when it will become apparent. Be careful not to analyze things too much, because over analyzing may prevent you from acting the right way when trying to figure out "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back". Just take things slow and play them cool and you should be fine.
For other tips on making this work and also to watch some free videos click here.
This tends to be a dead end for one reason above all else: Because you can never really tell what the real reasons were behind a breakup. Women are emotional and sometimes they do not even know what led to the break up. They may not even know know what is making them feel the way they do. Often what is a problem is simply a failure to communicate. Do not fear though, makes friends with the conflict. In many circumstances it is only harmful to lose all your energy trying to figure out what went wrong.
The first main strategy to answer the question about "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" is to forget about the relationship for a while, putting your energy into something else. Go out, make friends, have fun, network, and forget about women in general. Set some realistic goals about expanding your repertoire when it comes to seduction and meeting people.
Give yourself a couple of months and make changes in your life. Take some time away from your ex and it will work wonders.
The effect that strategies like this will have, is that it will allow you to make gradual changes in your life. It also allows you to make changes in how you perceive the subject of relationships. After a few months, you may have a much better idea of how you want to proceed with your ex.
Do you still want to get back together with her? Or are you ready to move on? Act accordingly. If you still want to get back together with her, it might be time to figure out how she is feeling about you.
Now is your chance to be a little more direct when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back. You need to play strategically, however. Do not simply beg her to get back with you, because this is not a good time to be emotional.
Instead, what you should be doing is playing things cool with your ex. If you have spent enough time apart from her, she is probably missing you as badly as you are missing her. Show her that you are doing fine without her, but don't over do it by playing too hard to get. This will inspire her to really rethink things.
If getting back together with your ex really is meant to be, now is the time when it will become apparent. Be careful not to analyze things too much, because over analyzing may prevent you from acting the right way when trying to figure out "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back". Just take things slow and play them cool and you should be fine.
For other tips on making this work and also to watch some free videos click here.
What's Something I Can Do To Get My Ex Back
Do you feel like everything you do pushes your ex away further? I did. It was like one of those Chinese finger traps. The more I wrestled with the thoughts, the worse the situation got.
Every moment... does it seem that you are you asking yourself, "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back"? Here are some tips that will greatly improve your chances of getting back together with your ex boyfriend.
If you play scenes over and over again in your mind of how things are going to be between the two of you then, obviously, right now you are serious about saving or rekindling your relationship. I would venture my best guess that saving your relationship is what led you to this article in the first place. But if you are feeling overly anxious to get your ex back then you may be behaving in the wrong way. Your actions are causing your ex to pull away naturally. It is human nature in general to resist this kind of pressure. Struggling against human nature is completely pointless, and it will only make matters worse.
Are you calling your ex too much, constantly writing him e-mails or text messaging him? Are you trying to make him feel sorry for you? If you are doing these things, STOP! If you are asking yourself, "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back", then the answer is that you need to stop doing these things right now. It's like fighting an uphill battle. You are spinning your wheels and making huge ruts that you are only going to get stuck in.
So if you are asking yourself what you can do to get your ex boyfriend back then follow this strategy instead.
You are going to need to take a completely fresh approach. Begin by breaking contact off for a while. Try doing your own thing. During this time, where there is no communication between you and your ex boyfriend, you can focus on ways that you can improve your own personal life. Maybe you can take the opportunity to lose that few extra pounds that you've been meaning to lose, but can't because "he" always wants to go out for fast food. Take some "me" time for yourself. Get your nails done or go out with your girlfriends. Do anything rather than focusing on the relationship issues at hand. This is going to be a challenging time, and it is going to require discipline on your part to prevent you from returning to your old ways. Remember what we've always heard..."never let them see you sweat". You don't want to give your ex the pleasure of witnessing the anguish he is putting you through. Don't ever go this route.
Give him the opportunity to miss you.
During this time, your ex is going to experience a shift in how he feels about you, since you will no longer be pursuing him. You may become mysterious to him in some ways, because he is not sure what you are doing or feeling. This is actually something that can work in your favor. Now your ex is in a position to actually miss you. That's just not possible when you are smothering him.
You must remember, and this is key, that the strategy for repairing a break up is to work with human nature rather than attempting to work against it. If you are wondering "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back", then by now you should have a fairly basic understanding on some common mistakes that can be avoided. Once you implement this basic strategy then you can restore a balance to your sanity and allow your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place.
Keep yourself grounded and, at all costs, avoid smothering him. Make yourself appear mysterious and he will be reminded of why he loved you in the first place. Play hard to get. Don't over do it, but let him make the first move. Following this basic premise will allow you to become the hunted rather than the hunter. You will come out on top.
If you would like to watch some free videos and get some more ideas for handling the situation, visit here.
Every moment... does it seem that you are you asking yourself, "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back"? Here are some tips that will greatly improve your chances of getting back together with your ex boyfriend.
If you play scenes over and over again in your mind of how things are going to be between the two of you then, obviously, right now you are serious about saving or rekindling your relationship. I would venture my best guess that saving your relationship is what led you to this article in the first place. But if you are feeling overly anxious to get your ex back then you may be behaving in the wrong way. Your actions are causing your ex to pull away naturally. It is human nature in general to resist this kind of pressure. Struggling against human nature is completely pointless, and it will only make matters worse.
Are you calling your ex too much, constantly writing him e-mails or text messaging him? Are you trying to make him feel sorry for you? If you are doing these things, STOP! If you are asking yourself, "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back", then the answer is that you need to stop doing these things right now. It's like fighting an uphill battle. You are spinning your wheels and making huge ruts that you are only going to get stuck in.
So if you are asking yourself what you can do to get your ex boyfriend back then follow this strategy instead.
You are going to need to take a completely fresh approach. Begin by breaking contact off for a while. Try doing your own thing. During this time, where there is no communication between you and your ex boyfriend, you can focus on ways that you can improve your own personal life. Maybe you can take the opportunity to lose that few extra pounds that you've been meaning to lose, but can't because "he" always wants to go out for fast food. Take some "me" time for yourself. Get your nails done or go out with your girlfriends. Do anything rather than focusing on the relationship issues at hand. This is going to be a challenging time, and it is going to require discipline on your part to prevent you from returning to your old ways. Remember what we've always heard..."never let them see you sweat". You don't want to give your ex the pleasure of witnessing the anguish he is putting you through. Don't ever go this route.
Give him the opportunity to miss you.
During this time, your ex is going to experience a shift in how he feels about you, since you will no longer be pursuing him. You may become mysterious to him in some ways, because he is not sure what you are doing or feeling. This is actually something that can work in your favor. Now your ex is in a position to actually miss you. That's just not possible when you are smothering him.
You must remember, and this is key, that the strategy for repairing a break up is to work with human nature rather than attempting to work against it. If you are wondering "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back", then by now you should have a fairly basic understanding on some common mistakes that can be avoided. Once you implement this basic strategy then you can restore a balance to your sanity and allow your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place.
Keep yourself grounded and, at all costs, avoid smothering him. Make yourself appear mysterious and he will be reminded of why he loved you in the first place. Play hard to get. Don't over do it, but let him make the first move. Following this basic premise will allow you to become the hunted rather than the hunter. You will come out on top.
If you would like to watch some free videos and get some more ideas for handling the situation, visit here.
Making Up After Breaking Up
Making up after breaking up. Is that all you want to do? Sometimes the pain seems almost unbearable. You can't help but think about that other person. You can't eat, sleep or bear the thought of going forward without, what you consider, to be your better half.
I can understand where you are coming from. I've been there and done that. And I never want to go through that again. It is so painful to go through the emotional turmoil of breaking up.
One of the first things you need to do though is realize that it isn't your fault. Nothing that you could have said or done would have truly made a difference in the outcome without some alternate gender wisdom.
Men and women are wired differently. They think differently and they feel differently about everything. Life choices, values and morals, even rules for life.
Think about it. Here is an example. Consider the way a man and a woman view a public restroom in a restaurant. A woman will ask another woman at the table if she'd like to go with her to the bathroom. Would a man ever do this? No way!
A woman can go into the bathroom, meet a total stranger, carry on a conversation with her and leave with a new best friend. Would a man ever do this? No way!
A man goes into the bathroom, does his business and leaves. He doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't even really want to make eye contact with anyone.
Here's another example. Consider how a man and a woman handle the situation of getting lost on their way to drive someplace.
A woman stops and asks for directions. A man just drives around sightseeing until he can get his bearings and figure out the correct way to go.
If you just stop and think about it, then you know that life is full of these differences. Neither person is better than the other...they are just different.
For the same reason a woman sees a different approach to making up than a man does.
So...if you want to get your man back, then you are going to have to approach the situation the way a man views it. He's got to "get it" for it to work.
Take a look at The Magic of Making Up. It is a short report written by a man, T.W. Jackson. He makes sense and he "gets it". He has helped thousands of people in countries all over the world.
Everything can change if you change your perspective. You can view some free videos that T Dub (that's what he likes to be called) has made and see that you really can save your relationship if that's what you want.
Click here to watch the free videos.
I can understand the pain and frustration that you must be going through and I really want to help you. Just think about this.
I can understand where you are coming from. I've been there and done that. And I never want to go through that again. It is so painful to go through the emotional turmoil of breaking up.
One of the first things you need to do though is realize that it isn't your fault. Nothing that you could have said or done would have truly made a difference in the outcome without some alternate gender wisdom.
Men and women are wired differently. They think differently and they feel differently about everything. Life choices, values and morals, even rules for life.
Think about it. Here is an example. Consider the way a man and a woman view a public restroom in a restaurant. A woman will ask another woman at the table if she'd like to go with her to the bathroom. Would a man ever do this? No way!
A woman can go into the bathroom, meet a total stranger, carry on a conversation with her and leave with a new best friend. Would a man ever do this? No way!
A man goes into the bathroom, does his business and leaves. He doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't even really want to make eye contact with anyone.
Here's another example. Consider how a man and a woman handle the situation of getting lost on their way to drive someplace.
A woman stops and asks for directions. A man just drives around sightseeing until he can get his bearings and figure out the correct way to go.
If you just stop and think about it, then you know that life is full of these differences. Neither person is better than the other...they are just different.
For the same reason a woman sees a different approach to making up than a man does.
So...if you want to get your man back, then you are going to have to approach the situation the way a man views it. He's got to "get it" for it to work.
Take a look at The Magic of Making Up. It is a short report written by a man, T.W. Jackson. He makes sense and he "gets it". He has helped thousands of people in countries all over the world.
Everything can change if you change your perspective. You can view some free videos that T Dub (that's what he likes to be called) has made and see that you really can save your relationship if that's what you want.
Click here to watch the free videos.
I can understand the pain and frustration that you must be going through and I really want to help you. Just think about this.
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