Maybe you have experienced a problem with your ex boyfriend. That might be why he is your ex, right? If you are contemplating getting back together with him, then you need him to understand that you need a commitment from him. (Make sure and read this whole post and discover what kind of commitment)
Being with your ex boyfriend must have been some type of emotional roller coaster. He's up and he's down. He's in when he's out. He's sending you all sorts of contradictory messages. One moment he's all serious and like there could never be anyone else in his world except for you and the next thing he's talking about how the two of you should start seeing other people.
Your ex may have been like this for a while. Maybe you have broken off with him a few times, but in the end you go back to him, because you really do love him.
Well, girlfriend, it's time for a change. If you get back with him again it's going to have to be with a totally different mindset about your relationship.
First of all, make sure that he knows that this is the absolute LAST time that you are getting back with him. If he breaks the relationship off again, then you are going to move on with your life. It is too expensive emotionally for you to continue being the way that you have always been. That is rather insane. What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. EXAMPLE: Getting back together with your ex boyfriend with no clear changes.
This next consideration is just as important as the first. Realize that part of the problem with the relationship was yours. Own up to your mistakes. Many women have the tendency to try and intensify the relationship too soon. The guy may seem like he is ok with it and then after a couple of weeks he gets scared and asks for more space.
Realize what you have done and vow to yourself that it isn't going to happen again. This time let your guy set the pace for your relationship. Other than asking him to make the commitment to be exclusive to you and not see other women; don't pressure him. (This is the commitment that I mentioned earlier that I wanted you to wrap your head around!) That is such an important issue that I think it bears repeating. DON'T PRESSURE HIM! Let him control the level of the relationship and the pace at which you grow.
If you approach your boyfriend with these ideas in mind I think you will be surprised at his receptiveness of the situation. So there are only two points that you want to make sure that he understands when you get back together.
When you get back together you want to make sure that he knows that this is the absolute last time. If he lets you go one more time, then you are gone for good.
You will get on with your life. And it won't be with him. You are tired of doing the same thing over and over. That's stupid and you're not going to do it anymore.
He is going to control the pace of your relationship. Other than asking for a commitment from him to not see other women, you are NOT going to pressure him.
You see, most men have to be the one who is doing the pursuing. They respond to that challenge. They like the take charge and lead the way type of character.
When you set the pace then you taking away from his manhood. At least that's the way he sees it. He feels wimpy, like he is being smothered by you. He feels emasculated because he is not the pursuer.
I know it may sound crazy, but that is the way men think.
Okay, ladies, now that you know what to do...how do you do it?
- Stop calling him so frequently. He might feel like you are keeping tabs on him. Let him call you.
- Your dates with him may not be as creative as you would have planned either, but you'll live. Your gonna find that a man's creative character is buried deeper than your own. It might take quite a bit more time for him to find it and use it.
He will though! - Be fine with it even if he seems like he is spending a lot less time with you. Remember, he is in charge! Find something else to do...go out with your girlfriends, go shopping, or go visit your mom! (A mom would naturally think this is a great idea!)
- Don't sit at home by the phone waiting for him to call! Admit it; in it's own way this is a very self-seeking attitude! Not a very attractive one either!
- Be confident in yourself. Nothing turns a man on more than a woman who is proud of who she is!
- Be happy with who you are! Your happiness should not depend on him and he should be able to recognize that!
I think that you are going to find that your time with your boyfriend is more wonderful and meaningful that it had been in the past. Your time together is going to be his choice of when he wants to spend time together. You are going to notice that while the quantity is not quite what it used to be, the QUALITY is amazing! He's not going to be looking for excuses to take a "break" anymore.
Those two steps that you are taking are nothing more than #1 what you want and #2 what he needs.
How much more simple could it be? Now is the time to act if you really want to get back together with your boyfriend. Just don't go making some stupid mistakes and ruining the precious second chance you have. Take this advice and follow the proven-to-work plan of so many others who used to be in same situation. Don't wander aimlessly through the dark. GET THE MAGIC OF MAKING UP TODAY and see the light!
