Oh my gosh, if your relationship is on the rocks then this has been an incredibly lousy week for you, hasn't it? You could probably tell that this was brewing for quite some time, but I guess you thought if you ignored it that it wouldn't become an issue. Now things are not going well at all. Your partner is talking about breaking up with you and you really don't want that to happen. Now what? What can you do?
If you don't want to break up there are 3 things that you can do that may stop it. What have you got to lose by trying?
These tips won’t work in every situation—some relationships are too far gone. Most relationships though start having troubles long before they reach the point that they cannot be reconciled. Thankfully.
1) When you don’t want the breakup but your partner does, try being quiet for a while. Don't nag them! Don't whine, don't complain, don't carry on making a big issue over the fact they have just explained what is on their mind. Just listen to your partner. Try to understand where they are coming from. The worst thing that you could do right now is blame them for your breakup. This isn't about blame...it's about the fact that they must be needing something from the relationship that they aren't getting from you. Got it?
You can let your partner know that you don’t want the breakup. You should talk to them and explain calmly and reasonably about how you feel also. That’s about all you can do. Mostly, just shutup and listen! Perhaps you could reassure them that couples go through this kind of thing all the time and are still together. Don’t remind them of this over and over again though. You don't want them feeling like you are beating them over the head trying to prove your correctness. Consider this...you can be right or you can be together. What's more important to you?
If you carry on and carry on about how you want to stay together, you’ll probably just annoy your partner, making it less likely for him to be open to the idea of staying together. On the right hand side of this page, I have written a book that you can pick up for free. That's because I really do want to help you. It should give you some awesome ideas for rekindling the romance in your relationship. If you are at the point of considering a breakup, then you are probably in need of this guide. Relationships are iffy, but romance lasts forever. The whole point is to make yourself extra desirable to your partner again.
It’s unlikely he or she finds you particularly desirable when you’re complaining and whining about inconsequential things. That tendency to complain and even nag may have had something to do with why the relationship broke up in the first place, remember.
2) I think one of the main things that you should be concerned with is putting the other person's feelings ahead of your own. Get out of your own way. Stop being selfish. Instead of only thinking about me, me, me....spend your time thinking about your partner, your partner, your partner.
3) You want to show your very best side to your partner at all times. When you started dating this person, you were probably on your best behavior. You were not rude. You remembered your manners. You acted in a way that was out to impress the object of your affection. Everyone does that to win a mate’s heart. Then as things start to stagnate a little because of the routine responsibilities of life, there’s no need to impress or dazzle your partner anymore so the tendency to whine and complain begins. Or maybe you don't whine and complain...maybe you just never even give your partner any attention at all.
Stop this immediately and go back to displaying your “going to win them” courting behavior. That is often such a switch from the way things were in the beginning, that it seems almost too good to be true. Your partner will respond positively if they realize that you are genuinely interested in pursuing and keeping a relationship with them.
Going hand in hand with taking care not to complain or nag is learning to simply be agreeable. We tend to take our partner for granted and when he or she suggests something we’re not happy with, we make it known. If we do that too often it can start to seem to our partner that they can’t do or say anything right! You need to respect and appreciate your partner. I can't say this too much...LISTEN to them!!!!!!!
If you don’t want to breakup then learn to agree with your partner even when you don’t want to. That might sound a little extreme, but you’re in rescue mode right now. You just want to do everything you can to save the relationship. This doesn’t mean that you’ll never be able to disagree with them for the rest of your life, but you want to make it known to them that you can be compromising to the way they feel.
Most of all you need to learn to do this all with a smile on your face. If you don’t want breakup then you’ll have to do these things.
A relationship that is growing and surviving is constantly a process in work. It thrives in an atmosphere of respect, admiration and attention. If you really want this to work out, you're are going to have to make it known to your partner that you understand this and are willing to do it to share your love with them.
