8:00 AM - Go To Work
9:15 AM - Office meeting
1:30 PM - Sales presentation
6:00 PM - Break up with my significant other
Let's face it, for most of us, that kind of schedule looks pretty funny. We don't schedule things that way. At least I don't, do you? So...while we may not schedule a break up this way, there still are times when something needs to be done. One of you in the relationship needs to make the first move. A lot of relationships last much longer than they probably should for no other reason than breaking up isn't an easy thing to do. Neither person wants to be the one who did the breaking up.
Relationships typically end in a few basic ways.
There is the dramatic break up. This type can be very sudden and usually involves strong words or actions. She cries, she chases him, follows him home promising never to do whatever it was that she did that he obviously didn't like so much so he decided to break up. Or vice versa. He does the chasing and promising.
Then there is the mutual break up where both parties come to the realization that it's over. They agree that it's best to break up. It's almost as if it happens by magic. Believe it or not, it's also the most rare kind of break up.
Finally, there is the slow break up. This is characterized by things degrading over time. The sad thing is that neither party may even know they are headed for a break up until it's far too late. The two people in the relationship just sort of drift apart.
So, how can you end a bad relationship without either party getting hurt?
The first step is to know why you want to break up. Don't make the mistake of assuming that the first reason you come up with is the real reason. You need to find the underlying cause of wanting to break up. Having a clear and accurate idea of why you're breaking up will make the process go smoother for both parties. That's because you will be operating from a position of honesty. That's the key to a smart break up.
Set a time to discuss things that is convenient for both of you. If at all possible do this face-to-face. Promise me that you won't text the other person. How rude! It's really not the kind of thing that should be handled via e-mail or over the phone either. The only exception is for a long-distance relationship where you won't be able to get together for a while. It's better to end things quickly, than it is to delay the inevitable.
Keeping things positive when ending a relationship is a smart move. Just because you are ending a romance doesn't mean you have to make an enemy. Be nice to each other and treat each other with respect. Don't get defensive. Don't make the other person feel like they must be defensive, either. If they start crying, be compassionate. At the same time, be aware that it may be an attempt to manipulate you. Guys know especially...tears do that. You can still be nice, but don't let them make you do something you don't really want to do.
Finally, at this stage, getting back together in the future is probably the last thing on your mind. However, it is always a possibility. You never know what the future holds.
