Getting back together with your ex is an extremely hard thing to do because both of you have had your feelings hurt and hearts broken. What can make it worse is that there are also probably very unrealistic expectations of what you want from each other. Not quite on the same page? The thing to realize is that you are both human and fully capable of making mistakes. We all make mistakes, right?
The reason that you are broken up or divorced is that there were mistakes made on both of your parts. No one is perfect, including yourself. As much as you would like to believe that you are, neither one of you are perfect and are, actually, quite far from it. Getting back with your ex means that you need to realize this.
When you are pouring over your predicament, it is going to be very obvious and easy to point out the mistakes that the other made. What is going to be even harder is to point out the mistakes that YOU made. You have to look closely at your broken relationship. You need to look and see what it was that you did that helped make the split possible. What actions did you take or words did you express that helped make the relationship as bad as it got. You have to own up to your part in the ending of the relationship. You know it takes two to tango.
You have to own your own mistakes. You can’t hide them. You can’t cover them up. You can’t make excuses for them. You can’t sugar coat them. You can’t pretend they aren’t there. You can’t do any of that and yet expect the reconciliation effort to succeed.
Pointing fingers is probably what caused the split to happen in the first place. Pointing fingers is not going to help getting back with your ex. You are only human. Along with that humanity comes pride. That's another human trait. This may seem obvious but because of this attitude we may not be able to show that we know we made mistakes. No one wants to admit they were wrong. That just goes against the grain of our own humanity.
In getting back with your ex, you have to realize also that your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend or ex husband or ex wife is the person whom you've decided you do not want to be your ex anymore. You no longer want that person to be your ex. You have to understand that if you want them to be with you for the long term then you have to realize how special they are to you. You must appreciate them! They will never know that if you can’t realize that you have those feelings and express them. They must know that you want to be with them. If you treat them like trash for the mistakes they made and hold it over their head then they aren’t going to feel very special. If you haven't learned to over past then how can you expect a new beginning? The mistakes they made may have been bad but forget about it. You need to let them know that you want to be with them. They have to see from you that they are special and you appreciate them. Can you look past their faults?
Isn’t that what you want? To know that even with all your faults that they love you still? What greater way is there to share than to care?
