Welcome to my Blog!

I don't know how you found me or how you found my blog, but I am glad you did. After you look around, you'll be glad too!

If you are hurting from a breakup then I wished we had met under happier circumstances. I know firsthand what a painful situation you are going through. It hurts so much that sometimes I felt like ending my life just so I could end the pain. Don't do that! In retrospect I can see how stupid that would have been! Look around the blog and I hope that you are able to pick up some tidbit of info that will help you feel better.

If you are here to discover some secrets to a happier relationship and ignite your passion once again, congratulations. You've come to the right place.

You can read through the posts and discover a lot of really useful information on securing a healthy relationship. There is also a very good book mentioned a few times in my blog. It is called, The Magic of Making Up. It is a great resource for mending and/or improving your relationship.

If you are not broken up then you can learn how to increase your passion.

If you are in a broken relationship, you can discover ways to heal your relationship.

Whatever is the right thing for you to do...enjoy your time here!

You can also leave me a comment if you have some ideas of your own or if you have a question. Check back often because I do respond to your comments.

Praying for the best for you,
Carole

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Communicating With Your Eyes

Your eyes are the windows to your soul. They give you away when you are happy and when you are sad. They tell on you when you are thinking naughty thoughts. They twinkle like stars, and snap like fireworks. Your lover gets drawn into them every time you kiss. Your eyes can say more than your actual words at times. You communicate more than you will ever know with your eyes.


Look across the table and make eye contact. Let your lover see the twinkles that dance in your eyes whenever you look at him,. Raise one eyebrow suggestively. Maybe even give him a slow, smoldering wink that will guarantee he will wolf that meal down!


Are you upset with him but don’t really want to get drawn into an acrimonious argument? Let him see the pain in your eyes. He will see how dull the color is, the shimmer of threatened tears and it will kill him. No man likes to see the woman that he loves in pain, and he will do whatever it takes to bring the fire back to your eyes.


If you feel guilty about something, you probably will not be making as much eye contact. Ironically, studies show that men who are guilty of infidelity will make more eye contact than considered normal in an attempt to convince others of his innocence..


Your eyes can reveal more than you would really like them to at times. You are pretending to be perfectly happy, and that is what you keep saying to everybody, but your downcast, red rimmed eyes tell a whole different story. You are not happy and we can all tell. Conversely, you are trying to play it cool with a new man, but your eyes snap and sparkle like perfectly cut diamonds. You shake your head and say that he is “okay” when your friends ask, but they can see the light in your eyes whenever you talk about him. Your eyes have just ratted you out!


We wink and bat our eyes to flirt. We roll our eyes to express disgust, annoyance or boredom. We clamp our eyes shut when we are afraid, and open them wide when we are surprised. Our eyes appear partially closed to signal our sexual arousal. Our eyes allow us to pass messages to people when words are not going to get it done. Every single emotion we feel as humans shows in our eyes.


We look for messages in our lover's eyes and hope that we are not misreading cues. We mourn when we look into lifeless eyes and realize there is no feeling there to be expressed any longer. And we smile, when we look across the table and get a slow, smoldering wink and a single eyebrow raised message.

All be told your eyes can give an infinite number of messages and communicate in ways that we never even considered. They are the tattle tales of our being. Realize this and use your eye language to your advantage.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

If You Don't Want To Breakup Here Are 3 Ways To Stop It

Oh my gosh, if your relationship is on the rocks then this has been an incredibly lousy week for you, hasn't it? You could probably tell that this was brewing for quite some time, but I guess you thought if you ignored it that it wouldn't become an issue. Now things are not going well at all. Your partner is talking about breaking up with you and you really don't want that to happen. Now what? What can you do?

If you don't want to break up there are 3 things that you can do that may stop it. What have you got to lose by trying?

These tips won’t work in every situation—some relationships are too far gone. Most relationships though start having troubles long before they reach the point that they cannot be reconciled. Thankfully.

1) When you don’t want the breakup but your partner does, try being quiet for a while. Don't nag them! Don't whine, don't complain, don't carry on making a big issue over the fact they have just explained what is on their mind. Just listen to your partner. Try to understand where they are coming from. The worst thing that you could do right now is blame them for your breakup. This isn't about blame...it's about the fact that they must be needing something from the relationship that they aren't getting from you. Got it?

You can let your partner know that you don’t want the breakup. You should talk to them and explain calmly and reasonably about how you feel also. That’s about all you can do. Mostly, just shutup and listen! Perhaps you could reassure them that couples go through this kind of thing all the time and are still together. Don’t remind them of this over and over again though. You don't want them feeling like you are beating them over the head trying to prove your correctness. Consider this...you can be right or you can be together. What's more important to you?

If you carry on and carry on about how you want to stay together, you’ll probably just annoy your partner, making it less likely for him to be open to the idea of staying together. On the right hand side of this page, I have written a book that you can pick up for free. That's because I really do want to help you. It should give you some awesome ideas for rekindling the romance in your relationship. If you are at the point of considering a breakup, then you are probably in need of this guide. Relationships are iffy, but romance lasts forever. The whole point is to make yourself extra desirable to your partner again.

It’s unlikely he or she finds you particularly desirable when you’re complaining and whining about inconsequential things. That tendency to complain and even nag may have had something to do with why the relationship broke up in the first place, remember.

2) I think one of the main things that you should be concerned with is putting the other person's feelings ahead of your own. Get out of your own way. Stop being selfish. Instead of only thinking about me, me, me....spend your time thinking about your partner, your partner, your partner.

3) You want to show your very best side to your partner at all times. When you started dating this person, you were probably on your best behavior. You were not rude. You remembered your manners. You acted in a way that was out to impress the object of your affection. Everyone does that to win a mate’s heart. Then as things start to stagnate a little because of the routine responsibilities of life, there’s no need to impress or dazzle your partner anymore so the tendency to whine and complain begins. Or maybe you don't whine and complain...maybe you just never even give your partner any attention at all.

Stop this immediately and go back to displaying your “going to win them” courting behavior. That is often such a switch from the way things were in the beginning, that it seems almost too good to be true. Your partner will respond positively if they realize that you are genuinely interested in pursuing and keeping a relationship with them.

Going hand in hand with taking care not to complain or nag is learning to simply be agreeable. We tend to take our partner for granted and when he or she suggests something we’re not happy with, we make it known. If we do that too often it can start to seem to our partner that they can’t do or say anything right! You need to respect and appreciate your partner. I can't say this too much...LISTEN to them!!!!!!!

If you don’t want to breakup then learn to agree with your partner even when you don’t want to. That might sound a little extreme, but you’re in rescue mode right now. You just want to do everything you can to save the relationship. This doesn’t mean that you’ll never be able to disagree with them for the rest of your life, but you want to make it known to them that you can be compromising to the way they feel.

Most of all you need to learn to do this all with a smile on your face. If you don’t want breakup then you’ll have to do these things.

A relationship that is growing and surviving is constantly a process in work. It thrives in an atmosphere of respect, admiration and attention. If you really want this to work out, you're are going to have to make it known to your partner that you understand this and are willing to do it to share your love with them.

Monday, August 23, 2010

You Really Need To Talk To Your Ex

If you want to get your ex back then one of the things that you should do is that you ought to talk to your ex, calmly and logically, if that's possible. Depending on how you ended things, and who did the actual ending, talking to an ex is a relative thing. It can be the equivalent to torture. Or maybe it will be no big deal.

For instance, I have an ex that is a good friend. I can talk to him about anything. I could even get by with asking him to do favors for me!

Then on the other hand, I have some exes that are so loathsome to me, I would rather pull the skin off of my body, inch by inch than to even try and deal with them.

That just goes to show you that you can never tell. Only the people involved can tell what type of friendship that they can have after a breakup. Or if a friendship is even possible! It won't always be!

If you did manage to end things in a fairly adult manner then talking to your ex should be easy. Granted, for the first few minutes, things are bound to be tense, and that is normal. Just smile, relax and hopefully things will even out fairly quick.

If it is a social event and you have just bumped into each other, keep things light and casual. Exchange a few pleasantries and then move on.

If however you have a set purpose in speaking to your ex, then know what you need to accomplish with the conversation. Plan accordingly.

Let's suppose for a moment that you need to ask your ex to return a cherished possession or to pay an outstanding mutual debt.

You do not want to start off with accusations and recriminations. Do not angrily rehash all of the things that had gone wrong with the relationship. Do not make snaky comments about any new relationship that may have cropped up since the breakup.

Try to remain neutral, especially if you need something. Who is going to be willing to pay a bill for someone who is shouting at them? Try to avoid childish name calling, but if you come up with a really good zinger, write it down for future use!

If your ex is the one that has initiated the conversation, consider his motives and what YOU want to accomplish. If this is a last ditch effort to try to win you back, think about whether you want that to happen or not. Are you the one that broke up with him in the first place? Is it truly and completely over?

If you know that you are done with him, now and forever, and he does not have all of your old Shaun Cassidy posters (You do know who that is, right? Or am I revealing my age?) in his garage, then by all means, let him know exactly how you feel.

There are some men that you could drop into the ocean, tied to a lead filled piano and they would still make it back to your door step, dripping wet and dragging a Steinway's keyboard. They truly do deserve the cold shoulder if you have told them more than four times.

In fact, the rule should be; if you have rejected an ex more than a half dozen times you can then whack them on the nose with a rolled up paper and say "bad boyfriend, bad, bad boyfriend" until they dash off, whimpering into the night.

Depending on location, you may or may not run into your ex. Maybe you will see him every day, maybe once a year, maybe never again.

You should know what you would do if you ever do run into him. Try to think about how you would feel. If you do have to talk to him, especially in public, try to remain calm and mature. Then, if you need to punch the hell out of a pillow when you get home and stick pins in a voodoo doll, you can with peace of mind.

If it the true desire of your heart to get back with your ex then you should get a copy of the book, The Magic of Making Up.

What Should I Do To Get My Ex Back?

I have never experienced so many painful emotions as when I broke up with my true love. You are probably feeling the same way and thinking to yourself, How do I get my ex back?
I was never so compelled to give up on life because I had so many heartfelt sensations...depression, sorrow, despair, grief, remorse, sadness, woe, pain, hurt, loss, worthlessness...the list could go on and on.

Think about it. Your major concern is 'what should I do to get my ex back?'. Am I right? I know positively that was my only thought. If you can remove yourself from all those feelings that you are experiencing right now and just think about the situation logically, you will be giving yourself the best chance of getting back together with that special person in your life.

2 things that can take you a long-g-g way to repairing your relationship are:

  • Common sense


  • and

  • Common courtesy


First, let's talk about common sense. Most people do have that, right?
Here are some common sense ideas.

  • Be genuine. Be real.

  • Don't play games. Don't be a player. Don't use people.

  • Be considerate. Think about someone besides yourself for a change.

  • Be sincere when you talk to your ex.

  • Give your ex some space. Don't smother them.

  • Be confident. Sure, you may feel like your world is falling apart but handle it responsibly.



There's only one thing that I can really say about common courtesy. Be nice. Don't be mean. Especially now, in this difficult situation it is very common to be even more vicious acting. That response is only natural. You are hurting and you see this as a means of defense. But it's not going to work very well for you if you really want to get your ex back.

Be on your best behavior and your ex will remember what it is that captured their heart in the first place. They will remember all the good things about you and miss those things.

Want to get your ex back? All you need is a step by step plan. You can get the best one HERE.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

What Can I Do To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

After a breakup, many times the only thing that the boyfriend can think about is...what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back...it's a mind buster alright. It is something that permeates every aspect of your day.

Are you that boyfriend? If so, then you know exactly what I'm talking about, don't ya? You never realized what you had until it's gone, right? That's the way it usually is. Wouldn't you know that it's just like that old song goes,"don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got til it's gone".

Are you thinking and philosophizing about everything that could have been done to prevent the breakup? You probably just wish that things could have been different. You might even be making plans for writing an apology letter or something so you could score that relationship back. Stop right there. Don't do that.

Believe me when I tell you that this would all be for naught. You never really know what caused the breakup in the first place. She probably doesn't know either. A woman becomes so emotionally in turmoil over the entire situation that it doesn't even matter to her what caused the breakup...she is only concerned with the fact that you have broken up.

If you are asking yourself, "What can I do to get my girlfriend back" the first thing you need to do is come back to reality. Be calm and look at things in a different perspective. Take a break for a sec. Don't rush into making some rash decisions that are only going to come back and haunt you later.

Take some time away from your ex for a bit. Make some changes in your life. Learn to be more self sufficient. You know exactly how to take care of yourself...I'm sure you did it before she came into the picture. Maybe you have gotten lazy and figure that it's just easier to depend on her to take of you.

Straighten up. Quit being lazy. Quit being so gosh darn egotistical. Consider her feelings for a change. When you are ready to start thinking of her needs and wants instead of your own then it's time to approach her for a conversation about resuming your relationship.

Don't beg her. You don't want her to see you as a crying, whining wimpy kind of guy. Be confident, be pleasant...show her that you really care more about her than you do about yourself.

If getting back with your ex girlfriend is really meant to be then it will be apparent to both of you. It will be a mutual decision. Not one where one person (you) are trying to talk the other person (her) into something. A relationship based on that kind of reconciliation is not going to work.

Do you want to get your ex girlfriend back? Then go to the man who has helped hundreds of thousands all over the world. Time is of the essence in this predicament, so get started now.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Do You Want Your Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Together With You? Get A Commitment From Him

If you are going to get back together with your ex boyfriend then you need to get a commitment from him.

Maybe you have experienced a problem with your ex boyfriend. That might be why he is your ex, right? If you are contemplating getting back together with him, then you need him to understand that you need a commitment from him. (Make sure and read this whole post and discover what kind of commitment)

Being with your ex boyfriend must have been some type of emotional roller coaster. He's up and he's down. He's in when he's out. He's sending you all sorts of contradictory messages. One moment he's all serious and like there could never be anyone else in his world except for you and the next thing he's talking about how the two of you should start seeing other people.

Your ex may have been like this for a while. Maybe you have broken off with him a few times, but in the end you go back to him, because you really do love him.

Well, girlfriend, it's time for a change. If you get back with him again it's going to have to be with a totally different mindset about your relationship.

First of all, make sure that he knows that this is the absolute LAST time that you are getting back with him. If he breaks the relationship off again, then you are going to move on with your life. It is too expensive emotionally for you to continue being the way that you have always been. That is rather insane. What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. EXAMPLE: Getting back together with your ex boyfriend with no clear changes.

This next consideration is just as important as the first. Realize that part of the problem with the relationship was yours. Own up to your mistakes. Many women have the tendency to try and intensify the relationship too soon. The guy may seem like he is ok with it and then after a couple of weeks he gets scared and asks for more space.

Realize what you have done and vow to yourself that it isn't going to happen again. This time let your guy set the pace for your relationship. Other than asking him to make the commitment to be exclusive to you and not see other women; don't pressure him. (This is the commitment that I mentioned earlier that I wanted you to wrap your head around!) That is such an important issue that I think it bears repeating. DON'T PRESSURE HIM! Let him control the level of the relationship and the pace at which you grow.

If you approach your boyfriend with these ideas in mind I think you will be surprised at his receptiveness of the situation. So there are only two points that you want to make sure that he understands when you get back together.

  1. When you get back together you want to make sure that he knows that this is the absolute last time. If he lets you go one more time, then you are gone for good.
    You will get on with your life. And it won't be with him. You are tired of doing the same thing over and over. That's stupid and you're not going to do it anymore.




  2. He is going to control the pace of your relationship. Other than asking for a commitment from him to not see other women, you are NOT going to pressure him.



You see, most men have to be the one who is doing the pursuing. They respond to that challenge. They like the take charge and lead the way type of character.

When you set the pace then you taking away from his manhood. At least that's the way he sees it. He feels wimpy, like he is being smothered by you. He feels emasculated because he is not the pursuer.

I know it may sound crazy, but that is the way men think.

Okay, ladies, now that you know what to do...how do you do it?

  • Stop calling him so frequently. He might feel like you are keeping tabs on him. Let him call you.

  • Your dates with him may not be as creative as you would have planned either, but you'll live. Your gonna find that a man's creative character is buried deeper than your own. It might take quite a bit more time for him to find it and use it.
    He will though!

  • Be fine with it even if he seems like he is spending a lot less time with you. Remember, he is in charge! Find something else to do...go out with your girlfriends, go shopping, or go visit your mom! (A mom would naturally think this is a great idea!)

  • Don't sit at home by the phone waiting for him to call! Admit it; in it's own way this is a very self-seeking attitude! Not a very attractive one either!

  • Be confident in yourself. Nothing turns a man on more than a woman who is proud of who she is!

  • Be happy with who you are! Your happiness should not depend on him and he should be able to recognize that!



I think that you are going to find that your time with your boyfriend is more wonderful and meaningful that it had been in the past. Your time together is going to be his choice of when he wants to spend time together. You are going to notice that while the quantity is not quite what it used to be, the QUALITY is amazing! He's not going to be looking for excuses to take a "break" anymore.

Those two steps that you are taking are nothing more than #1 what you want and #2 what he needs.

How much more simple could it be? Now is the time to act if you really want to get back together with your boyfriend. Just don't go making some stupid mistakes and ruining the precious second chance you have. Take this advice and follow the proven-to-work plan of so many others who used to be in same situation. Don't wander aimlessly through the dark. GET THE MAGIC OF MAKING UP TODAY and see the light!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Are You In the Right Relationship?

Sometimes you have to wonder to yourself about whether you are in the right relationship or not. Sometimes when we are broken up from a person we tend to think that we can't go on and that life isn't worth living without them. When we get back together with them then you say to yourself, "What was I thinking? They hurt my feelings. I am not a priority to them. I just don't get it."

You start to question whether you are in the right relationship. You start to feel like you are navigating your way through a minefield of dog poop just to keep from arguing with them. What's that about? That's no way to live. You don't want to live that way.

So it's time to ask yourself the BIG question. Are you really happy with that person? Now of course, you are not going to be wallowing in happiness 24/7, but if you are thinking, "Is this all there is?" then you should re-evaluate your situation. You should be happy more times than not.

If your significant other is doing or saying things that make you doubt your self worth and they make you feel pretty crummy most of the time then you are not getting that emotional safety from the relationship that you should be getting.

If you are pre-occupied with feelings of low self esteem then you are probably spending time thinking that they may be cheating on you. This can lead to you being suspicious, miserable and filled with negativity.

If you can't feel secure and trusting of the relationship then it just may not be the right one for you. You don't need that. That's no way to spend your days.

It's only human that we have the tendency to stay in this relationship because it's less painful than the foreboding breakup. Often times, "we remain the same until the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of change". Eventually you will come to a point where this happens. Isn't it better to be in control of your life, realize the reality of what's going on and make the change first?

Think about it. Are you in the right relationship?

Do you feel special? Do you feel safe? You should feel like the #1 priority in
your partner's life.

The Magic of Making Up is more than just a book about how to make up with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. You owe it to yourself to give the book a try. It's a book that gives you guidelines for a healthy, happy relationship.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Step By Step How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

When in life were you ever taught how to get your ex boyfriend back? You probably weren't. It's not something that usually enters into the mainstream of teaching you about how to cope with life.

So...what do you do? Wing it? Just kind of feel your way through the situation and make it up as you go along? You probably ask your friends for their advice, but other than that you really don't know what to do. Well, guess what? Your friends probably have no better idea than you about what you should do. I guess in this area of relationship repair we are all pretty much clueless.

In response to the situation though, all you really need is a proven plan and then take action on that plan. You can win your boyfriend back!

1) The first thing that you need to do is to distance yourself from him. This allows you to gain back your composure. It allows you to preserve your sanity and it makes the statement to your ex boyfriend that you can survive. This will also give you some much needed time to regroup your feelings; pull yourself together and stop fixating on your ex. You need some time and space to concentrate on your own needs so that you can get through this very stressful time.

Seriously, make an effort to establish a sense of well being.

2) Secondly, make connections with friends and family. After all they are your best forms of support. They love you and care about you and will want to help and support you. Definitely the worst thing that you can do if you are determined about getting back with your ex is to isolate yourself. It's very unbecoming for a person to sit alone slobbering over a broken relationship. If you are sitting at home all teary eyed, sniffling and obsessing over your ex boyfriend that is not very attractive. Why would he want to come back to you when you are like that?

3) Thirdly, since you have some time to really think about the situation, what do you think was the cause of your breakup? Ask friends and family members what they saw as the downfall of your relationship. I am sure that your ex even had more than a few words to say about it as he walked out. I am sure you have your own ideas too, but don't dismiss the value of an objective observer. Look at things from your friend's or family's perspective too. Sometimes, because they can be more objective than you, they can make better sense of the situation.

If you are serious about making up with your ex boyfriend then you need to ask others for their opinions. This is going to be the best way for you to honestly evaluate the relationship.

Make sure and take into consideration everyone's opinions about the relationship. After you have gathered all the input from others then you have to make the final decision about what do want to do. Do you really want to get back with your ex? Are you sure? You need to make this decision based on the facts, not your emotions.

4) Finally, if you decide that what you want to do is get back with him, then you need to call him. You need to tell him how you feel. You need to let him know why you feel the way you do. Make sure and speak to him logically and calmly without all the drama. Guys hate drama!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Get Guy Back-Get Him Back After A Breakup

If you were recently involved in a breakup but you want to get the guy back, then you need to listen up because the next actions that you engage in are going to be vital in determining whether or not you can get him back.

This is probably such an incredulously difficult time for you once your man has broken up with you. I know it makes you feel like life is hardly worth living.

You probably don't even feel like yourself. It's like having this huge hole in your heart and you feel like is never going to be repaired. You just don't know what to do or think, because you really don't feel like doing anything anymore.

Getting back together with someone who has broken up with you can be very, very difficult if you do not know what you are doing. If your ex decided that he no longer wanted to be with you then you may find it very hard for you to get him back, but you can still try if you feel so inclined.

That being said, you need to know what steps to take in order to get your guy back once he has broken up with you. First and foremost you need to make sure that getting back together with him is really what you are looking for. Really think this out! Don't go making a rash decision just because the pain is so great right now. Maybe getting your ex back isn't really the best thing for you. I mean if he broke up with you and caused you so much pain, are you sure that he is really worth going through all this? Is getting back together with him really what you want in your life right now, or will you benefit instead from some space and time?

The most critical aspect for you to consider once you decide that you want to get the guy back is to realize that sometimes relationships work and sometimes they don't. Some people are capable of making up and moving on with the relationship while others simply cannot rekindle things as they would like. Maybe there has been too much pain and heartache. Maybe things are way beyond saying I'm sorry. Maybe someone was physically abusive to the other. Whatever has happened...well, you better think about the situation before you decide whether you want to get involved again.

Even if, for some reason, you do not succeed right this moment, it will still be worthwhile to make an attempt to get guy back. Who knows what the future may hold? Just because you do not get him back right now, doesn't mean that your relationship will never be. You didn't break up in a day; don't expect to get back in a day.

One of the best things that you can do in order to get guy back is to stop worrying or acting desperately about the situation. You are not desperate, so don't act like you are. Simply admit to yourself that whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Call it KARMA, or DESTINY, or a GOD THING or FATE. Whatever will be, will be.

Don't worry about what he is doing or feeling while he's away. Let him live his life himself. It shouldn't make any difference to you anyway. Work on living your own life instead.

You need to be mature about the break up if you want to get your guy back. He needs to see this too. He doesn't want you back if you act like some kind of psycho mental case that is bent on stalking him all the time. Though acting mature may be the most difficult and stressful thing to do right now (because getting back with him is all you can think about), this is probably the most important thing that you can do!

You may want to try and limit contact with him when you are trying to get your guy back, so he will know that you are capable of moving on.

This will remind him of how much he enjoyed having you in his life. Allow him to miss you!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Only Human Getting Back With Your Ex

Getting back together with your ex is an extremely hard thing to do because both of you have had your feelings hurt and hearts broken. What can make it worse is that there are also probably very unrealistic expectations of what you want from each other. Not quite on the same page? The thing to realize is that you are both human and fully capable of making mistakes. We all make mistakes, right?

The reason that you are broken up or divorced is that there were mistakes made on both of your parts. No one is perfect, including yourself. As much as you would like to believe that you are, neither one of you are perfect and are, actually, quite far from it. Getting back with your ex means that you need to realize this.

When you are pouring over your predicament, it is going to be very obvious and easy to point out the mistakes that the other made. What is going to be even harder is to point out the mistakes that YOU made. You have to look closely at your broken relationship. You need to look and see what it was that you did that helped make the split possible. What actions did you take or words did you express that helped make the relationship as bad as it got. You have to own up to your part in the ending of the relationship. You know it takes two to tango.

You have to own your own mistakes. You can’t hide them. You can’t cover them up. You can’t make excuses for them. You can’t sugar coat them. You can’t pretend they aren’t there. You can’t do any of that and yet expect the reconciliation effort to succeed.

Pointing fingers is probably what caused the split to happen in the first place. Pointing fingers is not going to help getting back with your ex. You are only human. Along with that humanity comes pride. That's another human trait. This may seem obvious but because of this attitude we may not be able to show that we know we made mistakes. No one wants to admit they were wrong. That just goes against the grain of our own humanity.

In getting back with your ex, you have to realize also that your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend or ex husband or ex wife is the person whom you've decided you do not want to be your ex anymore. You no longer want that person to be your ex. You have to understand that if you want them to be with you for the long term then you have to realize how special they are to you. You must appreciate them! They will never know that if you can’t realize that you have those feelings and express them. They must know that you want to be with them. If you treat them like trash for the mistakes they made and hold it over their head then they aren’t going to feel very special. If you haven't learned to over past then how can you expect a new beginning? The mistakes they made may have been bad but forget about it. You need to let them know that you want to be with them. They have to see from you that they are special and you appreciate them. Can you look past their faults?

Isn’t that what you want? To know that even with all your faults that they love you still? What greater way is there to share than to care?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Do You Schedule Your Relationship?

8:00 AM - Go To Work

9:15 AM - Office meeting

1:30 PM - Sales presentation

6:00 PM - Break up with my significant other

Let's face it, for most of us, that kind of schedule looks pretty funny. We don't schedule things that way. At least I don't, do you? So...while we may not schedule a break up this way, there still are times when something needs to be done. One of you in the relationship needs to make the first move. A lot of relationships last much longer than they probably should for no other reason than breaking up isn't an easy thing to do. Neither person wants to be the one who did the breaking up.

Relationships typically end in a few basic ways.

There is the dramatic break up. This type can be very sudden and usually involves strong words or actions. She cries, she chases him, follows him home promising never to do whatever it was that she did that he obviously didn't like so much so he decided to break up. Or vice versa. He does the chasing and promising.

Then there is the mutual break up where both parties come to the realization that it's over. They agree that it's best to break up. It's almost as if it happens by magic. Believe it or not, it's also the most rare kind of break up.

Finally, there is the slow break up. This is characterized by things degrading over time. The sad thing is that neither party may even know they are headed for a break up until it's far too late. The two people in the relationship just sort of drift apart.

So, how can you end a bad relationship without either party getting hurt?

The first step is to know why you want to break up. Don't make the mistake of assuming that the first reason you come up with is the real reason. You need to find the underlying cause of wanting to break up. Having a clear and accurate idea of why you're breaking up will make the process go smoother for both parties. That's because you will be operating from a position of honesty. That's the key to a smart break up.

Set a time to discuss things that is convenient for both of you. If at all possible do this face-to-face. Promise me that you won't text the other person. How rude! It's really not the kind of thing that should be handled via e-mail or over the phone either. The only exception is for a long-distance relationship where you won't be able to get together for a while. It's better to end things quickly, than it is to delay the inevitable.

Keeping things positive when ending a relationship is a smart move. Just because you are ending a romance doesn't mean you have to make an enemy. Be nice to each other and treat each other with respect. Don't get defensive. Don't make the other person feel like they must be defensive, either. If they start crying, be compassionate. At the same time, be aware that it may be an attempt to manipulate you. Guys know especially...tears do that. You can still be nice, but don't let them make you do something you don't really want to do.

Finally, at this stage, getting back together in the future is probably the last thing on your mind. However, it is always a possibility. You never know what the future holds.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Should I Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend

Should you try to get back with your ex girlfriend when you think you can’t be away from her? When the time comes that you think you can’t live without her and your life is incomplete without her, you may have a challenge on your hands. It isn’t an impossible challenge, though. Fixing your relationship is something that you can do, but it will take a lot of introspection and thought about the situation. If you think you might want to get back your with ex girlfriend, you need to make sure that it is worth it.

If you are trying to figure out what makes you feel like you have to get back with your ex girlfriend in the first place then you need to ask yourself some questions. What was the reason for the break up in the first place? If it was your fault then look closely at what it was that you did. Was it due to your selfishness? Examining yourself this way is something that might be hard to do. Look at the actions you took. Were they the results of a self-centered person? If so, then what has changed? What makes you so sure that you are done being self-centered? Is this desire to get back with ex girlfriend a result of self-centered thinking? Hmmm...that's a good question.

Before you try to get back with your ex girlfriend, you need to make sure that it is a mutually beneficial relationship or it has very little chance of succeeding. If it is just something to try and fill a void in your life and heart then it may not be the best thing for both of you. You may have to live with the consequences of your selfish actions. Don’t expect to get taken back with open arms. You just have to know that if it isn’t good for both of you then getting back with your ex might not have good or positive results.

What if the shoe is on the other foot? If the reason that you broke up has more to do with her selfish actions, then what makes you think that she has changed or will change? Look closely at her actions. If there is genuine remorse and a willingness to change? If so then you might have a chance. You need to ask “is she just going to do the same things again?” If she has a pattern of acting out of selfishness in a way that is harmful to your relationship and to you then you probably don’t have a chance. If you have significant reason to believe that what she did isn’t going to repeat itself then maybe you should get back with ex girlfriend. You have to know that beyond the shadow of a doubt she is done looking out for only her self-interest and is more interested in something that is good for the both of you.

In either situation, whether it was because of your selfishness or hers, or even both, you need to fully believe that the both of you are going to benefit from your reconciliation.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You

If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be looking for books on healing relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among all the books out there?
This article will show you how I choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…

First off, you don’t want to be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people out there who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But how much experience about relationship building in the real world do they really have?

Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless friends to do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These are relationships of people that author actually cares about and wants to help.

Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is what most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” books will tell you. Many of the e-books on the market turn that very concept into a 50 page document. These are just pieces of fluff that don’t deserve your attention – or your money.

Instead, you should look for a book that will give you brand new information; information that your friends can’t give you. Information that sparks a new perspective and way to build a relationship.

Here are some questions that you should consider when looking for a book. Will the book tell you what a woman craves the most? Will it give you a step-by-step guide about how to satisfy those cravings? Will the book show you what you need to do to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques that will enable you to get relief from your pain?

Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?

You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you. Does it work for people regardless of where they are coming from?

There are many books on building or healing relationships that are on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. That would mean that the recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.

Finding the best books on relationships takes a little work. But, everything about relationships takes work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out there?

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Advice on Relationships How to Keep a Woman Happy

Do you know how to keep a woman happy? Here is some advice on relationships for men.

The first advice on relationships that I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.

Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.

This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.

The next thing is that you should not obviously be looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to other women that you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner... for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.

You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.

The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.

Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can un-land her just as easily just as easily as you landed her.

She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.

You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.

The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.

So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense. The fact is my son almost drove his sweetheart out of his life because he didn't pay attention to what he was doing. There is a book that woke him up written by T 'Dub' Jackson called "The Magic Of Making Up". After he read it and began applying T Dub's common sense suggestions, his love life turned around. Not only that all of his personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and our family have become much smoother than they were before.

You might want to check out "The Magic of Making Up" yourself.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Relationship Fix

TW Jackson, the man behind the e-Book, "Magic of Making Up", has helped thousands of couples from every corner of the globe. His e-Book gives solutions to people who want to stop the impending breakup or divorce. For those even in hopeless situations, something can still be done. The book shows you exactly what to do and say to win your significant other back. Yes, you can open your arms wide and embrace a life filled with love.

In relationships, there are always ups and downs. Some times may even be more difficult than others. Feelings can change as well. You may notice that you're the only one trying to make the whole thing work.

No one wants to be in this sad situation. It just plain sucks! You get nothing but lies and heartache and that's not how it's supposed to be. If you could just turn back the clock and go back to those happier times where each moment was sweet, special, and unforgettable that would be great; wouldn't it?

Unfortunately, time changes people. What you need now is to come clean before the situation boils over and explodes. Lies and fights aren't what make your relationship thrive. Do you want to make it work or do you want to end it?

If you want to recapture your loved one's heart and soul, you need to purchase this eBook. Nothing is better out there than this one. TW Jackson really knows how to put your life back in place. Work your problems out and go back to being the happy couple that you once were.