Welcome to my Blog!

I don't know how you found me or how you found my blog, but I am glad you did. After you look around, you'll be glad too!

If you are hurting from a breakup then I wished we had met under happier circumstances. I know firsthand what a painful situation you are going through. It hurts so much that sometimes I felt like ending my life just so I could end the pain. Don't do that! In retrospect I can see how stupid that would have been! Look around the blog and I hope that you are able to pick up some tidbit of info that will help you feel better.

If you are here to discover some secrets to a happier relationship and ignite your passion once again, congratulations. You've come to the right place.

You can read through the posts and discover a lot of really useful information on securing a healthy relationship. There is also a very good book mentioned a few times in my blog. It is called, The Magic of Making Up. It is a great resource for mending and/or improving your relationship.

If you are not broken up then you can learn how to increase your passion.

If you are in a broken relationship, you can discover ways to heal your relationship.

Whatever is the right thing for you to do...enjoy your time here!

You can also leave me a comment if you have some ideas of your own or if you have a question. Check back often because I do respond to your comments.

Praying for the best for you,
Carole

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Step By Step How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

When in life were you ever taught how to get your ex boyfriend back? You probably weren't. It's not something that usually enters into the mainstream of teaching you about how to cope with life.

So...what do you do? Wing it? Just kind of feel your way through the situation and make it up as you go along? You probably ask your friends for their advice, but other than that you really don't know what to do. Well, guess what? Your friends probably have no better idea than you about what you should do. I guess in this area of relationship repair we are all pretty much clueless.

In response to the situation though, all you really need is a proven plan and then take action on that plan. You can win your boyfriend back!

1) The first thing that you need to do is to distance yourself from him. This allows you to gain back your composure. It allows you to preserve your sanity and it makes the statement to your ex boyfriend that you can survive. This will also give you some much needed time to regroup your feelings; pull yourself together and stop fixating on your ex. You need some time and space to concentrate on your own needs so that you can get through this very stressful time.

Seriously, make an effort to establish a sense of well being.

2) Secondly, make connections with friends and family. After all they are your best forms of support. They love you and care about you and will want to help and support you. Definitely the worst thing that you can do if you are determined about getting back with your ex is to isolate yourself. It's very unbecoming for a person to sit alone slobbering over a broken relationship. If you are sitting at home all teary eyed, sniffling and obsessing over your ex boyfriend that is not very attractive. Why would he want to come back to you when you are like that?

3) Thirdly, since you have some time to really think about the situation, what do you think was the cause of your breakup? Ask friends and family members what they saw as the downfall of your relationship. I am sure that your ex even had more than a few words to say about it as he walked out. I am sure you have your own ideas too, but don't dismiss the value of an objective observer. Look at things from your friend's or family's perspective too. Sometimes, because they can be more objective than you, they can make better sense of the situation.

If you are serious about making up with your ex boyfriend then you need to ask others for their opinions. This is going to be the best way for you to honestly evaluate the relationship.

Make sure and take into consideration everyone's opinions about the relationship. After you have gathered all the input from others then you have to make the final decision about what do want to do. Do you really want to get back with your ex? Are you sure? You need to make this decision based on the facts, not your emotions.

4) Finally, if you decide that what you want to do is get back with him, then you need to call him. You need to tell him how you feel. You need to let him know why you feel the way you do. Make sure and speak to him logically and calmly without all the drama. Guys hate drama!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Get Guy Back-Get Him Back After A Breakup

If you were recently involved in a breakup but you want to get the guy back, then you need to listen up because the next actions that you engage in are going to be vital in determining whether or not you can get him back.

This is probably such an incredulously difficult time for you once your man has broken up with you. I know it makes you feel like life is hardly worth living.

You probably don't even feel like yourself. It's like having this huge hole in your heart and you feel like is never going to be repaired. You just don't know what to do or think, because you really don't feel like doing anything anymore.

Getting back together with someone who has broken up with you can be very, very difficult if you do not know what you are doing. If your ex decided that he no longer wanted to be with you then you may find it very hard for you to get him back, but you can still try if you feel so inclined.

That being said, you need to know what steps to take in order to get your guy back once he has broken up with you. First and foremost you need to make sure that getting back together with him is really what you are looking for. Really think this out! Don't go making a rash decision just because the pain is so great right now. Maybe getting your ex back isn't really the best thing for you. I mean if he broke up with you and caused you so much pain, are you sure that he is really worth going through all this? Is getting back together with him really what you want in your life right now, or will you benefit instead from some space and time?

The most critical aspect for you to consider once you decide that you want to get the guy back is to realize that sometimes relationships work and sometimes they don't. Some people are capable of making up and moving on with the relationship while others simply cannot rekindle things as they would like. Maybe there has been too much pain and heartache. Maybe things are way beyond saying I'm sorry. Maybe someone was physically abusive to the other. Whatever has happened...well, you better think about the situation before you decide whether you want to get involved again.

Even if, for some reason, you do not succeed right this moment, it will still be worthwhile to make an attempt to get guy back. Who knows what the future may hold? Just because you do not get him back right now, doesn't mean that your relationship will never be. You didn't break up in a day; don't expect to get back in a day.

One of the best things that you can do in order to get guy back is to stop worrying or acting desperately about the situation. You are not desperate, so don't act like you are. Simply admit to yourself that whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Call it KARMA, or DESTINY, or a GOD THING or FATE. Whatever will be, will be.

Don't worry about what he is doing or feeling while he's away. Let him live his life himself. It shouldn't make any difference to you anyway. Work on living your own life instead.

You need to be mature about the break up if you want to get your guy back. He needs to see this too. He doesn't want you back if you act like some kind of psycho mental case that is bent on stalking him all the time. Though acting mature may be the most difficult and stressful thing to do right now (because getting back with him is all you can think about), this is probably the most important thing that you can do!

You may want to try and limit contact with him when you are trying to get your guy back, so he will know that you are capable of moving on.

This will remind him of how much he enjoyed having you in his life. Allow him to miss you!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Only Human Getting Back With Your Ex

Getting back together with your ex is an extremely hard thing to do because both of you have had your feelings hurt and hearts broken. What can make it worse is that there are also probably very unrealistic expectations of what you want from each other. Not quite on the same page? The thing to realize is that you are both human and fully capable of making mistakes. We all make mistakes, right?

The reason that you are broken up or divorced is that there were mistakes made on both of your parts. No one is perfect, including yourself. As much as you would like to believe that you are, neither one of you are perfect and are, actually, quite far from it. Getting back with your ex means that you need to realize this.

When you are pouring over your predicament, it is going to be very obvious and easy to point out the mistakes that the other made. What is going to be even harder is to point out the mistakes that YOU made. You have to look closely at your broken relationship. You need to look and see what it was that you did that helped make the split possible. What actions did you take or words did you express that helped make the relationship as bad as it got. You have to own up to your part in the ending of the relationship. You know it takes two to tango.

You have to own your own mistakes. You can’t hide them. You can’t cover them up. You can’t make excuses for them. You can’t sugar coat them. You can’t pretend they aren’t there. You can’t do any of that and yet expect the reconciliation effort to succeed.

Pointing fingers is probably what caused the split to happen in the first place. Pointing fingers is not going to help getting back with your ex. You are only human. Along with that humanity comes pride. That's another human trait. This may seem obvious but because of this attitude we may not be able to show that we know we made mistakes. No one wants to admit they were wrong. That just goes against the grain of our own humanity.

In getting back with your ex, you have to realize also that your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend or ex husband or ex wife is the person whom you've decided you do not want to be your ex anymore. You no longer want that person to be your ex. You have to understand that if you want them to be with you for the long term then you have to realize how special they are to you. You must appreciate them! They will never know that if you can’t realize that you have those feelings and express them. They must know that you want to be with them. If you treat them like trash for the mistakes they made and hold it over their head then they aren’t going to feel very special. If you haven't learned to over past then how can you expect a new beginning? The mistakes they made may have been bad but forget about it. You need to let them know that you want to be with them. They have to see from you that they are special and you appreciate them. Can you look past their faults?

Isn’t that what you want? To know that even with all your faults that they love you still? What greater way is there to share than to care?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Do You Schedule Your Relationship?

8:00 AM - Go To Work

9:15 AM - Office meeting

1:30 PM - Sales presentation

6:00 PM - Break up with my significant other

Let's face it, for most of us, that kind of schedule looks pretty funny. We don't schedule things that way. At least I don't, do you? So...while we may not schedule a break up this way, there still are times when something needs to be done. One of you in the relationship needs to make the first move. A lot of relationships last much longer than they probably should for no other reason than breaking up isn't an easy thing to do. Neither person wants to be the one who did the breaking up.

Relationships typically end in a few basic ways.

There is the dramatic break up. This type can be very sudden and usually involves strong words or actions. She cries, she chases him, follows him home promising never to do whatever it was that she did that he obviously didn't like so much so he decided to break up. Or vice versa. He does the chasing and promising.

Then there is the mutual break up where both parties come to the realization that it's over. They agree that it's best to break up. It's almost as if it happens by magic. Believe it or not, it's also the most rare kind of break up.

Finally, there is the slow break up. This is characterized by things degrading over time. The sad thing is that neither party may even know they are headed for a break up until it's far too late. The two people in the relationship just sort of drift apart.

So, how can you end a bad relationship without either party getting hurt?

The first step is to know why you want to break up. Don't make the mistake of assuming that the first reason you come up with is the real reason. You need to find the underlying cause of wanting to break up. Having a clear and accurate idea of why you're breaking up will make the process go smoother for both parties. That's because you will be operating from a position of honesty. That's the key to a smart break up.

Set a time to discuss things that is convenient for both of you. If at all possible do this face-to-face. Promise me that you won't text the other person. How rude! It's really not the kind of thing that should be handled via e-mail or over the phone either. The only exception is for a long-distance relationship where you won't be able to get together for a while. It's better to end things quickly, than it is to delay the inevitable.

Keeping things positive when ending a relationship is a smart move. Just because you are ending a romance doesn't mean you have to make an enemy. Be nice to each other and treat each other with respect. Don't get defensive. Don't make the other person feel like they must be defensive, either. If they start crying, be compassionate. At the same time, be aware that it may be an attempt to manipulate you. Guys know especially...tears do that. You can still be nice, but don't let them make you do something you don't really want to do.

Finally, at this stage, getting back together in the future is probably the last thing on your mind. However, it is always a possibility. You never know what the future holds.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Should I Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend

Should you try to get back with your ex girlfriend when you think you can’t be away from her? When the time comes that you think you can’t live without her and your life is incomplete without her, you may have a challenge on your hands. It isn’t an impossible challenge, though. Fixing your relationship is something that you can do, but it will take a lot of introspection and thought about the situation. If you think you might want to get back your with ex girlfriend, you need to make sure that it is worth it.

If you are trying to figure out what makes you feel like you have to get back with your ex girlfriend in the first place then you need to ask yourself some questions. What was the reason for the break up in the first place? If it was your fault then look closely at what it was that you did. Was it due to your selfishness? Examining yourself this way is something that might be hard to do. Look at the actions you took. Were they the results of a self-centered person? If so, then what has changed? What makes you so sure that you are done being self-centered? Is this desire to get back with ex girlfriend a result of self-centered thinking? Hmmm...that's a good question.

Before you try to get back with your ex girlfriend, you need to make sure that it is a mutually beneficial relationship or it has very little chance of succeeding. If it is just something to try and fill a void in your life and heart then it may not be the best thing for both of you. You may have to live with the consequences of your selfish actions. Don’t expect to get taken back with open arms. You just have to know that if it isn’t good for both of you then getting back with your ex might not have good or positive results.

What if the shoe is on the other foot? If the reason that you broke up has more to do with her selfish actions, then what makes you think that she has changed or will change? Look closely at her actions. If there is genuine remorse and a willingness to change? If so then you might have a chance. You need to ask “is she just going to do the same things again?” If she has a pattern of acting out of selfishness in a way that is harmful to your relationship and to you then you probably don’t have a chance. If you have significant reason to believe that what she did isn’t going to repeat itself then maybe you should get back with ex girlfriend. You have to know that beyond the shadow of a doubt she is done looking out for only her self-interest and is more interested in something that is good for the both of you.

In either situation, whether it was because of your selfishness or hers, or even both, you need to fully believe that the both of you are going to benefit from your reconciliation.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You

If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be looking for books on healing relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among all the books out there?
This article will show you how I choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…

First off, you don’t want to be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people out there who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But how much experience about relationship building in the real world do they really have?

Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless friends to do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These are relationships of people that author actually cares about and wants to help.

Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is what most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” books will tell you. Many of the e-books on the market turn that very concept into a 50 page document. These are just pieces of fluff that don’t deserve your attention – or your money.

Instead, you should look for a book that will give you brand new information; information that your friends can’t give you. Information that sparks a new perspective and way to build a relationship.

Here are some questions that you should consider when looking for a book. Will the book tell you what a woman craves the most? Will it give you a step-by-step guide about how to satisfy those cravings? Will the book show you what you need to do to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques that will enable you to get relief from your pain?

Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?

You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you. Does it work for people regardless of where they are coming from?

There are many books on building or healing relationships that are on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. That would mean that the recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.

Finding the best books on relationships takes a little work. But, everything about relationships takes work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out there?