Are You In A Toxic Relationship?

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?

Here are some clues:

If your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others, you might be in a toxic relationship.

If your partner says they love you, but their actions don’t back it up, then you might be in a toxic relationship. (You know, actions do speak louder than words...think about it.)

If your partner is very controlling of everything you do, you might be in a toxic relationship. (i.e. they read your mail, listen in on your phone conversations, call to monitor on your whereabouts throughout the day, etc.)

If they hacked your computer and are reading your email (or just checking your history on your computer to keep you in line) or “showing up” at places where you are just to “check up” on you, take heed.

If your partner tries to make you dependent on them, you might be in a toxic relationship. (i.e. maybe they are making you separate from family and friends that they are not in control of)

If you have changed things about yourself just to please them and not to please yourself then you might be in a toxic relationship.

Toxic people make you feel odd just being around them. It's not so much that they are scaring you, but just making you feel awkward and uneasy...like you have to be on guard and walk on egg shells when you are with them.

So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

They say love is blind, so maybe you do not recognize these things as they really are. A toxic relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation. Then the cycle begins anew. It's a vicious circle.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. You may be in the relationship for quite a time before you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.

At that point, it is difficult to get out. You know consciously that you should get out and that the relationship is not healthy for you, but you are already on the emotional roller coaster that, subconsciously, makes ending the relationship very difficult.

One reason for subjecting yourself to this is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, you replicate the patterns of your childhood without even knowing you’re doing it. You view what is happening to you as perfectly normal.

Another thing is this, you may not know any better. You may have already been reduced to believing that you do not deserve anything different.

Still to, you may find that you enjoy taking care of people and you just see this type of relationship as that vehicle. You recognize the care and attention the other person needs and think to yourself that if you only love them enough they will love you and respect you back. Unfortunately, that isn't so.

So...the first step in getting out and staying out of a toxic relationship is to realize that you do have choices. Very often people who stay in these relationships have low self esteem or suffer from depression and think they have no choices.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault. Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

Don't be one of your own worst enemies. Don't go on a guilt trip that you don't need to go on.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.

Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.

Others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Sometimes, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away. If your significant other realizes that you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you. The cycle will continue just the way it is.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.

Don’t nag the other person. Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.” Don't be demanding, just make your feelings known. Remember that the other person is not a mind reader, but they do need to be made aware of how you feel or they will continue on their rampage of dominance.

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.

A healthy relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.

If You Want To Get Back With Your Girlfriend Then Consider These Ideas

Sometimes when a relationship suddenly ends, either one or both parties involved may still be in doubt as to whether the end is really the end. This is especially true when a relationship is new. Can it really be over? Some men simply cannot accept the fact that their girlfriend walked away. Therefore, they find themselves still hoping she'll still be there in the morning and that it was all a dream. Are you asking "How can I get back together with my ex girlfriend"? It is important that you create a plan regarding how to do it.

In order to get back together with your ex girlfriend, there are a number of things that you can do. Here are some tips that you should keep in mind when working through this process.

1) There is always a second chance for everyone, so it's not impossible for you to get back together with your ex girlfriend. Realize this and quit causing yourself all kinds of anguish about getting a second chance. First, you should ask yourself some questions. Do you still love her? Do you really want her back? Why? Are you trying to get her back because you don't want to be alone, or because you don't believe you should have been dumped? Or maybe you are genuinely committed to making this relationship work. If you are looking for a way to get back with your ex for reasons other than love, you are playing a dangerous game that would be better off avoided. Don't play into the game of being vengeful.

2) Do not appear desperate or needy to your girlfriend. If your priority is "how can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?" then you don't want to appear to her as though you are smotheringly begging for her to take you back. Although you may feel desperate, and you may really want her back, you absolutely need to control your emotions, keeping those needy, greedy ones to yourself. If you cannot help yourself, then it may be wise to talk to your friends or family so you can cry your heart out where she cannot see. Do not beg or cry in front of your girlfriend, however, and absolutely do not stalk her. Not with your cell phone, not through texting, not IMing, not socially posting to her on Facebook or MySpace...whether you think so or not, these can be forms of stalking.

3) Learn how to control your feelings. Get off your pity pot...forget about the self pity and instead work on the positive aspects of sorting things through with your ex. If you appear too needy, or if you come off as too desperate, she may end up avoiding you even more. No one wants to be smothered by someone!

4) Keep the communication lines with your ex open. She may have ended the relationship, but you just need to make her feel like communication lines are open and that you want to be civil. You should be available for her to communicate with her if she wants, but remember, do not stalk her. You do not have to be the one initiating the conversation, but you should be willing to say hello and have a conversation occasionally with her if this is her choice. Keep in touch casually.

If you agree with any of this information and would like to see some free videos about fixing your relationship, watch these.

Making Up After Breaking Up

Making up after breaking up. Is that all you want to do? Sometimes the pain seems almost unbearable. You can't help but think about that other person. You can't eat, sleep or bear the thought of going forward without, what you consider, to be your better half.

I can understand where you are coming from. I've been there and done that. And I never want to go through that again. It is so painful to go through the emotional turmoil of breaking up.

One of the first things you need to do though is realize that it isn't your fault. Nothing that you could have said or done would have truly made a difference in the outcome without some alternate gender wisdom.

Men and women are wired differently. They think differently and they feel differently about everything. Life choices, values and morals, even rules for life.

Think about it. Here is an example. Consider the way a man and a woman view a public restroom in a restaurant. A woman will ask another woman at the table if she'd like to go with her to the bathroom. Would a man ever do this? No way!

A woman can go into the bathroom, meet a total stranger, carry on a conversation with her and leave with a new best friend. Would a man ever do this? No way!

A man goes into the bathroom, does his business and leaves. He doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't even really want to make eye contact with anyone.

Here's another example. Consider how a man and a woman handle the situation of getting lost on their way to drive someplace.

A woman stops and asks for directions. A man just drives around sightseeing until he can get his bearings and figure out the correct way to go.

If you just stop and think about it, then you know that life is full of these differences. Neither person is better than the other...they are just different.

For the same reason a woman sees a different approach to making up than a man does.

So...if you want to get your man back, then you are going to have to approach the situation the way a man views it. He's got to "get it" for it to work.

Take a look at The Magic of Making Up. It is a short report written by a man, T.W. Jackson. He makes sense and he "gets it". He has helped thousands of people in countries all over the world.

Everything can change if you change your perspective. You can view some free videos that T Dub (that's what he likes to be called) has made and see that you really can save your relationship if that's what you want.

Click here to watch the free videos.

I can understand the pain and frustration that you must be going through and I really want to help you. Just think about this.